Hi everyone, I (F, late 20s) have been talking to a guy (M, 30s) and I’m really confused about his change in behavior.
We matched on Bumble. I asked if we could talk on the phone first to see if there was chemistry and avoid wasting time. We did — and there was clear chemistry. He wanted to meet right away, but I tried to pace things and told him we could wait. He said when he sees something he likes, he’s impatient, and he was pushing to see me sooner rather than later. I finally made time for him, and we had our first date.
On the date, he was flirty, playful, tried locking hands with me while we were sitting , playfully brushed my arm and leg while we were talking and even asked to kiss me at the end. Since then, he’s called me gorgeous, pretty, hun, and love. He remembered my birthday after I only told him once and brought it up a couple of times after, even suggesting a birthday drink together when he got back. Before leaving for a work trip, he asked to see me multiple times, saying he really wanted to see me ASAP and that a week that he isn’t here shouldn’t be too bad but he wants to see me as soon as possible.
His texting style with me was pretty consistent: he usually wouldn’t text much during his long work hours, but once he wrapped everything up for the day, he’d make time to talk. He runs his own business and sometimes has to log on at random times, so I know his schedule is hectic — but despite that, he always carved out space for me once his day was done. He’d engage in real conversations, tell me he had fun, say he liked that we could talk about anything, and even used phrases like “vibe alignment” because he felt we connected well and had good aligned vibes.
But now things have shifted. Since he left for this work trip, he’s basically gone silent. I sent him a light “how’s LA treating you?” and got no response. Meanwhile, I know he’s been on his phone because he replied to a random/fake number (long story). And now today — my actual birthday — I haven’t heard a word, even though he knew it was coming and had talked about it before.
I feel disappointed and blindsided. His energy and communication before leaving were strong and reassuring, but now it feels like a complete 180. Part of me fears that when he’s back, he won’t reach out at all, which would make everything he said and did before feel fake.
So my question is: do you think this silence is just him being busy/bad at communicating while traveling, or is it a sign he’s not actually prioritizing dating right now