About a year ago, my university friendships changed a lot. I distanced myself because of personal struggles and because I didn’t agree with their political views and social behavior. Over time, they stopped inviting me to parties or reaching out, and I also stopped making much effort. They found new friends, and the old group chats went quiet, which was fine with me.
But I hate having inactive groups just sitting there and reminding me what I lost. I left the Snapchat one, and since the Instagram group hadn’t been used for months, I deleted it instead of choosing a new admin. Right after, I got an angry message: “Why did you do that? What’s your problem?” I explained I just didn’t like keeping dead chats, but they snapped back, “Then just leave.” I apologized, saying I didn’t realize it was important since no one was using it.
Now I feel a bit embarrassed for deleting it, but also frustrated — they don’t really care about me anymore, yet they care so much about an old group chat. And since I’m changing my subject and moving to another city, I’ll probably never see them again anyway
Argh… I know it sounds childish, but I don’t want ex-friends who grew distant from me to still have insight into my life on social media. I don’t want them gossiping about me. At the same time, I don’t want to stay in group chats just because I’m afraid of what people — who probably never really knew me — might think.
That was the problem from the beginning: I kept quiet and didn’t do what I wanted because I was scared of losing the few friends I had. Leaving those chats behind feels like taking back control. Otherwise, they’re just constant reminders that I couldn’t really be part of a friend group.
I hope you don’t think of me as a childish, not reflecting and over-dramatic person…