I’m almost 27 and feeling frustrated trying to build meaningful friendships. I’m shy, neurodivergent (NVLD), and have always struggled to connect easily with people. I don’t like sports, and I’m more comfortable in thoughtful, intimate, or creative settings than in loud, competitive environments.
Adding to the challenge, my mom is extremely outgoing and pushy — she’s the opposite of me — which has made me feel like I’m “doing friendship wrong” or not social enough.
College was by far the loneliest time of my life on par with middle school socially. I experienced a lot of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. I felt so unwelcome and out of sync with my peers that I would go home on weekends — first to escape a really unhealthy roommate situation, and later because I had resigned myself to not having friends on campus. I also studied abroad in Madrid for a period, which was amazing, but otherwise I struggled to find my people.
Now, I live at home but I’m trying to actively put myself out there: I’ve gone to brunches, book clubs, alumni mixers, and I’m even reconnecting with old friends. I want real connections, not just acquaintances. I get nervous, feel awkward, and sometimes retreat, but I’m trying not to let that stop me.
Does anyone else in their mid-to-late 20s struggle with finding friends due to shyness, neurodivergence, or family dynamics? How do you meet people you actually click with as an adult, outside of work or school?