I have a blended family that includes many older teens/young adults (I’m the mama) and my 21 yo step daughter who lives with us has a very difficult time engaging in group conversations. There are routinely 5 teens/young adults ranging from 16-23 at the dinner table along with myself and my partner (plus a 12yo and a 9yo). All of the children get along and are highly intelligent and so conversation tends to be lively and interesting.
However, the 21yo daughter will never speak directly to the group. She always turns to the person sitting next to her and speaks to them in an incredibly low voice where no one else can hear. The other person will respond at a voice level where the whole group can hear, but it makes the conversation slightly disjointed, and confusing to some of the other family members who have to sort of fill in the gap in the conversation.
I understand an occasional sidebar during a group conversation, but she will only speak in sidebars to the person sitting next to her with no attempt to speak to the whole group.
This same daughter will have loud, involved conversations one-on-one with almost anyone in the household, but as soon as there is more than one person to talk to, it’s like she doesn’t know what to do.
I think she is missing a social skill here, but I am unsure how to approach this. Any suggestions?