What relationship habits do you notice people accept but you disagree with ?
September 4, 2025
Some habits are common, like silent treatment or never going to bed angry. Which relationship habits seem normal but you think don’t work?
30 comments
I see woman (most often) who speak to their husbands like they’re dumb little puppies who need to be managed. Nasty tone, speaking down to them, rolling of the eyes.
I work in healthcare and the amount of women I see infantilising their partners is astonishing. Even within my culture I often see women saying they could educate men. JUST NO, FUCK NO. EDIT:🤣🤣🤣 already downvoted for what huh?
(this applies to heterosexual couples) Falling into gender roles without even being aware of it sometimes, just because that’s what they were surrounded by growing up. Like women taking up more and more housework and men just letting them do it, or descending into nagging wife/bumbling husband dynamics. A good friend of mine once said he liked fishing because “you can relax and your wife isn’t there to nag at you”. The problem was that his wife was my best friend and I knew for a fact they were in a very loving marriage. I don’t think he even realised what he’d said and he was just parroting words he’d heard from his father or a relative.
Updating about where u are every single minute and with whom. Also having doubts over ur partner so they have to explain everything to your insecure ass doesn’t feel hurt.
Checking my partner’s phone. If I don’t trust him, I shouldn’t be with him.
Get mad at them for following models. How insecure do you have to be that you think your partner finding other people attractive is cheating?
Controlling the other person’s day..Needs an update on the hour. This depicts deep insecurity and is total bs. The women that portray this really need therapy.
Also girl go have your own life. That’s when everything becomes more interesting.
[removed]
Not allowing your spouse to have friends of the opposite sex at all. If you are transparent with communications, include your spouse in activities, and it is truly platonic, then why is this a problem?
People getting annoyed at things that truly do not matter.
There is doing something “wrong” and then there is doing something “not the way I would have”. If the dishes are done but you just dont like how they load the dishwasher, let it go. If the towels are folded but the crease is going a different way than how you like it, let it go. Or else you are assigning yourself the role of default homemaker. If you dont want that role, dont take issue with preferences. Because if my partner wanted to teach me how to do it their way and insisted it was the right way, I would simply be uninterested in ever doing that chore again.
I am pretty sure my husband and I both dislike how the other loads the dishwasher. And we have different ideas of how to efficiently use the trash can (i break down boxes, he keeps bulky items out of the trash can entirely and makes separate trips). And he insists that the potato masher goes in the utensil stand but I find it way too awkwardly shaped and prefer it in the drawer next to the rolling pin. At the end of the day, it truly does not matter a damn. We each do our preferences when we take care of things and keep our mouths shut when the other does the chore.
Not necessarily the question your asking, but couples who get so wrapped up in each other they do everything together and have no time socialising with their own friends or making time for their own hobbies
Deferring to the Man for any financial decisions.
A couple should be a partnership therefore all important decisions together.
Worst example I saw was the Man couldn’t drive yet He decided what car to buy.
Since you mentioned it, not going to bed angry is a bullshit in my opinion. If I need to stay up to settle some argument, it will only make me more angry for being tired
A lot of things related to modesty and monogamy
Having separate bank accounts/finances and making independent decisions on money matters.
I think that if you do decide to get married you are supposed to share EVERYTHING. There’s no place for “my” and “your” and that applies to money too. Doesn’t matter if income or initial wealth are significantly different, we are a team and we act as such. If we have different spending habits, we should align on something that works for us both. Which MAY mean still keeping those different habits but as a result of a shared decision, not of a power dynamic.
I spend/don’t spend our money like if it’s my own and you do the same.
I’m aware this is not a widely shared opinion and I’m not here to debate it, just genuinely answering the question from my own perspective.
Women urging men to propose in heterosexual relationships. Like girl if you wanna get married pop the question. It’s 2025.
Listening to people moan about their partner constantly. If you don’t like them, why are you with them?
Making seemingly “harmless” jokes at their partners expense — constantly reminding them when they made a mistake/did something embarrassing. It makes me cringe.
Looking through partner phone, sharing locations, controlling clothes
Co-dependency. It is healthy to have different friends, interests and a social life outside of your partner. Your partner should not be your everything with an expectation they will meet all of your needs.
I notice a lot of people accept absolutely terrible behaviors from their S/O just so they don’t have to be alone.
I’d rather be single than be with someone who doesn’t treat me well.
For me, that doesn’t mean being perfect or buying me stuff. It means treating me with respect, love and care- the same way I treat my partner.
Well I don’t believe in not going to bed angry… it can force rushed resolutions when emotions are high, amongst other issues that result in ineffective communication. Plus often sleep can reset emotions and you can wake up with a clearer (less emotionally charged/biased) perspective.
Obviously silent treatment also isn’t a mature/securely attached approach either.
Other things like needing “spark” or keeping the spark alive stuff, not needing to ask for things or expecting your partner to just *know*… that sort of silly stuff.
Calling your SO when they’re hanging out with friends, or worse family, because fuck forbid they do something alone.
Getting married if you would divorce because you grew apart or don’t love each other anymore. Porn as a normal thing. Being completely uncivil and unloving when in a fight. Modeling yourself and your marriage after what you think you should be/want rather than what will really fulfill you.
Sharing intimate details about the relationship with the friend group.
If one of them wants to talk about some big topic – something that would have a major impact on the relationship – they just walk up to the other person and start talking.
No. That kind of stuff needs mental preparation so they can focus without distraction.
Since the beginning of our relationship, my husband and I have set up a Code Phrase. If there’s something big we want to discuss, we say, “I’d like to talk about something that’s *important to me*.”
That phrase gives the other person the chance to finish whatever they’re working on, and then move into the head space where they can give full attention to whatever the topic is. No to-do-list, no grocery shopping or house cleaning or errand running, just *that*, whatever it is.
And we always make sure we don’t use it for the little stuff, like “I want Chinese for dinner” or “I’m feeling frisky tonight.”
Last time I used it was when I told him I’m pregnant! 🙂
Cursing at each other!
People acting like jealousy = love. 🚩
It’s not cute, it’s not romantic, it’s controlling. Constant accusations, checking your phone, questioning where you are — that’s not passion, that’s possession. If your partner can’t trust you, that’s not love, it’s their insecurity bleeding into the relationship. And if you can’t trust your partner, you shouldn’t be with them. No amount of excuses will make it healthy.
babying or mothering a male partner. I seriously don’t have time forthis bullshit. The second I see a man not functioning properly asan adult, I am out.
cutting contact with opposite gender friends. if you knew me having male friends, i won’t dump them for you and I don’t expect you to do the same. I don’t put romantic relationships above the rest. By the way I prefer men who have solid and respectful female relationships.
checking a partner’s phone. i think this is the dumbest thing ever in a relationship. I have better things to do than periodically check my partner’s behavior on the internet or his faithfulness. if he appears to be lame one way or another I am out.
A coworker once told me that he didn’t let his wife go out on girls nights because they’re is no reason for her to do that. I asked him if she ever just goes out for a drink with like her best lady friend? He said no, she doesn’t need to be going out drinking without him. Ummmm, that seems pretty unacceptable to me. The habit of letting your husband tell you that you can’t go out with your friends. This was over 20 years ago and they are still married.
The whole wife/husband bad humor where they put their partner down while laughing and expecting everyone else around them to laugh too. This is mainly aimed at baby boomers that tend to do that a lot.
30 comments
I see woman (most often) who speak to their husbands like they’re dumb little puppies who need to be managed. Nasty tone, speaking down to them, rolling of the eyes.
I work in healthcare and the amount of women I see infantilising their partners is astonishing. Even within my culture I often see women saying they could educate men. JUST NO, FUCK NO. EDIT:🤣🤣🤣 already downvoted for what huh?
(this applies to heterosexual couples) Falling into gender roles without even being aware of it sometimes, just because that’s what they were surrounded by growing up. Like women taking up more and more housework and men just letting them do it, or descending into nagging wife/bumbling husband dynamics. A good friend of mine once said he liked fishing because “you can relax and your wife isn’t there to nag at you”. The problem was that his wife was my best friend and I knew for a fact they were in a very loving marriage. I don’t think he even realised what he’d said and he was just parroting words he’d heard from his father or a relative.
Updating about where u are every single minute and with whom. Also having doubts over ur partner so they have to explain everything to your insecure ass doesn’t feel hurt.
Checking my partner’s phone. If I don’t trust him, I shouldn’t be with him.
Get mad at them for following models. How insecure do you have to be that you think your partner finding other people attractive is cheating?
Controlling the other person’s day..Needs an update on the hour. This depicts deep insecurity and is total bs. The women that portray this really need therapy.
Also girl go have your own life. That’s when everything becomes more interesting.
[removed]
Not allowing your spouse to have friends of the opposite sex at all. If you are transparent with communications, include your spouse in activities, and it is truly platonic, then why is this a problem?
People getting annoyed at things that truly do not matter.
There is doing something “wrong” and then there is doing something “not the way I would have”. If the dishes are done but you just dont like how they load the dishwasher, let it go. If the towels are folded but the crease is going a different way than how you like it, let it go. Or else you are assigning yourself the role of default homemaker. If you dont want that role, dont take issue with preferences. Because if my partner wanted to teach me how to do it their way and insisted it was the right way, I would simply be uninterested in ever doing that chore again.
I am pretty sure my husband and I both dislike how the other loads the dishwasher. And we have different ideas of how to efficiently use the trash can (i break down boxes, he keeps bulky items out of the trash can entirely and makes separate trips). And he insists that the potato masher goes in the utensil stand but I find it way too awkwardly shaped and prefer it in the drawer next to the rolling pin. At the end of the day, it truly does not matter a damn. We each do our preferences when we take care of things and keep our mouths shut when the other does the chore.
Not necessarily the question your asking, but couples who get so wrapped up in each other they do everything together and have no time socialising with their own friends or making time for their own hobbies
Deferring to the Man for any financial decisions.
A couple should be a partnership therefore all important decisions together.
Worst example I saw was the Man couldn’t drive yet He decided what car to buy.
Since you mentioned it, not going to bed angry is a bullshit in my opinion. If I need to stay up to settle some argument, it will only make me more angry for being tired
A lot of things related to modesty and monogamy
Having separate bank accounts/finances and making independent decisions on money matters.
I think that if you do decide to get married you are supposed to share EVERYTHING. There’s no place for “my” and “your” and that applies to money too. Doesn’t matter if income or initial wealth are significantly different, we are a team and we act as such. If we have different spending habits, we should align on something that works for us both. Which MAY mean still keeping those different habits but as a result of a shared decision, not of a power dynamic.
I spend/don’t spend our money like if it’s my own and you do the same.
I’m aware this is not a widely shared opinion and I’m not here to debate it, just genuinely answering the question from my own perspective.
Women urging men to propose in heterosexual relationships. Like girl if you wanna get married pop the question. It’s 2025.
Listening to people moan about their partner constantly. If you don’t like them, why are you with them?
Making seemingly “harmless” jokes at their partners expense — constantly reminding them when they made a mistake/did something embarrassing. It makes me cringe.
Looking through partner phone, sharing locations, controlling clothes
Co-dependency. It is healthy to have different friends, interests and a social life outside of your partner. Your partner should not be your everything with an expectation they will meet all of your needs.
I notice a lot of people accept absolutely terrible behaviors from their S/O just so they don’t have to be alone.
I’d rather be single than be with someone who doesn’t treat me well.
For me, that doesn’t mean being perfect or buying me stuff. It means treating me with respect, love and care- the same way I treat my partner.
Well I don’t believe in not going to bed angry… it can force rushed resolutions when emotions are high, amongst other issues that result in ineffective communication. Plus often sleep can reset emotions and you can wake up with a clearer (less emotionally charged/biased) perspective.
Obviously silent treatment also isn’t a mature/securely attached approach either.
Other things like needing “spark” or keeping the spark alive stuff, not needing to ask for things or expecting your partner to just *know*… that sort of silly stuff.
Calling your SO when they’re hanging out with friends, or worse family, because fuck forbid they do something alone.
Getting married if you would divorce because you grew apart or don’t love each other anymore. Porn as a normal thing. Being completely uncivil and unloving when in a fight. Modeling yourself and your marriage after what you think you should be/want rather than what will really fulfill you.
Sharing intimate details about the relationship with the friend group.
If one of them wants to talk about some big topic – something that would have a major impact on the relationship – they just walk up to the other person and start talking.
No. That kind of stuff needs mental preparation so they can focus without distraction.
Since the beginning of our relationship, my husband and I have set up a Code Phrase. If there’s something big we want to discuss, we say, “I’d like to talk about something that’s *important to me*.”
That phrase gives the other person the chance to finish whatever they’re working on, and then move into the head space where they can give full attention to whatever the topic is. No to-do-list, no grocery shopping or house cleaning or errand running, just *that*, whatever it is.
And we always make sure we don’t use it for the little stuff, like “I want Chinese for dinner” or “I’m feeling frisky tonight.”
Last time I used it was when I told him I’m pregnant! 🙂
Cursing at each other!
People acting like jealousy = love. 🚩
It’s not cute, it’s not romantic, it’s controlling. Constant accusations, checking your phone, questioning where you are — that’s not passion, that’s possession. If your partner can’t trust you, that’s not love, it’s their insecurity bleeding into the relationship. And if you can’t trust your partner, you shouldn’t be with them. No amount of excuses will make it healthy.
babying or mothering a male partner. I seriously don’t have time forthis bullshit. The second I see a man not functioning properly asan adult, I am out.
cutting contact with opposite gender friends. if you knew me having male friends, i won’t dump them for you and I don’t expect you to do the same. I don’t put romantic relationships above the rest. By the way I prefer men who have solid and respectful female relationships.
checking a partner’s phone. i think this is the dumbest thing ever in a relationship. I have better things to do than periodically check my partner’s behavior on the internet or his faithfulness. if he appears to be lame one way or another I am out.
A coworker once told me that he didn’t let his wife go out on girls nights because they’re is no reason for her to do that. I asked him if she ever just goes out for a drink with like her best lady friend? He said no, she doesn’t need to be going out drinking without him. Ummmm, that seems pretty unacceptable to me. The habit of letting your husband tell you that you can’t go out with your friends. This was over 20 years ago and they are still married.
The whole wife/husband bad humor where they put their partner down while laughing and expecting everyone else around them to laugh too. This is mainly aimed at baby boomers that tend to do that a lot.