My husband (34M) and I (33F) have been married for a year, together for about three. He owns a car and I don’t so whenever we go places together he is always the one driving.
When we first started dating, I told him a story about being in a car accident years ago. It was not my fault, another driver ran a red light and hit me. At the time I didn’t think much of it, but now that we are married I asked him once if I can use the car for an errand and he said no.
Since then, he says things like “I don’t want to risk it” or jokes about my “bad luck,” but to me it doesn’t feel like a joke. It feels like he doesn’t trust me. I have a clean record aside from that one incident but it is not even an option with him. Even on long drives where he is clearly exhausted, he insists on staying behind the wheel.
I don’t want this to turn into a fight or make it sound like I just want control of his car, but I do want him to understand how patronizing this feels. I want him to see that I am a capable, safe driver, and that he can trust me.
How do I bring this up in a way that does not immediately put him on the defensive?
TLDR I told my now-husband about a car accident years ago when we first started dating. It was not my fault. Now that we are married, it feels like he doesn’t trust me to drive.