How do you get over the disgust you feel about yourself after finally getting yourself out of a situationship?
September 4, 2025
How do you get over the disgust you feel about yourself after finally getting yourself out of a situationship?
17 comments
A. Remind yourself that deserve a love that is so much more fulfilling that whatever you were receiving in a “situationship”. Every morning when you wake up, give yourself a mental high five for not settling or allowing yourself to go below your standards. That is HARD. REALLY HARD!!! So many people lead loveless lives because they are afraid to do what you have done, so seriously good on you. You will find what is meant for you one day.
or
B. Masturbating in front of the mirror to remind yourself you are wayyyy too hot for whatever bullshit was going on there LOL.
Both are viable options!
Why disgust?
i rarely feel disgusted by myself.
maybe a lack of self worth and self kindness and respect is happening?
Little by little you work on yourself. Give yourself time to heal, do the things you want to do and be a little girl again. And then tell that little one, it was okay to have done things with the choices that you had at the time. After all, it’s not wrong to want love and that you are perfect the way you are irrespective of whether someone sees it or not.
Cry every night until I’m tired of crying and fully grasp that it was me who allowed shit to continue. And then I accept the experience and move on knowing I could not have felt that way forever and not giving that shit head anymore second of my life.
feel you, i got out of a situationship that lasted more than one year. their lack of honesty isn’t an us problem.
1) Praise self for liking / loving with intention and doing your best 2) Realize it was their shortcomings and their loss given step #1 3) Remember what a badass catch you are
edit: formatting
By thinking how you’ve finally gain self respect and that’s a huge win. You were sucked in a situationship because you only wanted to feel loved and hoped the other person will feel the same. The fact that you are out of it means you finally chose yourself!
Honestly, time helps. I wasn’t so much disgusted with myself because I was a naive 20 year old virgin but my fwb kinda fucked me up with the mind games. I moved on with my now husband and life is so much better ❤️🩹
Remind yourself that this was a lesson you had to learn. You are stronger now that you were before, more knowledgeable, and more resilient. Better things are coming your way as a direct result of the experience you had. Lean into self love and therapy and you will land exactly where you are meant to be
Get into another one immediately
Just get back to the things that grounds you. Your own interests, things that bring you joy and confidence. Spend time with people who love you. Journal about it and get it out there. It’ll fade soon
Respect your boundaries with yourself. Mean what you say. Having self discipline and adding value and consequences to your word is what will set you free.
I went to therapy and learnt about inner child.
What will a child do in a situation when someone gave hopes of love to them and then took it away? She will do whatever she learnt growing up as a young girl to stay in such relationship.
How will I react if my kid is in same situation? Will I be disgusted ? No
Will I criticise them? No
I will sit with them, hug them, console them. Again and again and again, till the feeling vanish.
She has been all alone all this while, and looking for other men adults to give her love. And I myself was abandoning my inner child too.
So no more, I am with my inner child. Shamelessly, unabashedly. Whatever she did was what she knew. That’s ok. She is just a kid.
Once you get here, Then the next steps start.
Hope this helps.
Why would I feel disgusted? I chose to go and stay in that situationship. If I went in assuming it was a real relationship then I’m not at fault other than not leaving soon enough
By looking at your past with *kindsight*: not “What was I thinking?!” but “What was I *learning*?” and then course-correcting.
Learn the lesson. Whatever I was doing that was destructive to myself, find out why I tolerated it it and fix that. Then self-compassion and forgiveness, I’m a person too and I’m not perfect, we all make mistakes.
I refuse to hold disgust for myself in the long term, which helps. I remind myself I am actually a good person with a kind and loving heart and have many good accomplishments. Do the same, OP – you’re bigger than any situationship. You’re a hell of a lot more than some past relationship. And then you can charge forward with your new lesson learned and be empowered to do better next time. Good luck!!
Listen to a lot of podcasts to try and understand things from both sides. Jay shetty & Ken Reid are helpful for me. I’ve learned that mine has avoidant attachment and it’s more of a reflection of him than me, but I’m still bettering myself based off of the excuses I got that blamed me for the reason to not commit
17 comments
A. Remind yourself that deserve a love that is so much more fulfilling that whatever you were receiving in a “situationship”. Every morning when you wake up, give yourself a mental high five for not settling or allowing yourself to go below your standards. That is HARD. REALLY HARD!!! So many people lead loveless lives because they are afraid to do what you have done, so seriously good on you. You will find what is meant for you one day.
or
B. Masturbating in front of the mirror to remind yourself you are wayyyy too hot for whatever bullshit was going on there LOL.
Both are viable options!
Why disgust?
i rarely feel disgusted by myself.
maybe a lack of self worth and self kindness and respect is happening?
Little by little you work on yourself. Give yourself time to heal, do the things you want to do and be a little girl again. And then tell that little one, it was okay to have done things with the choices that you had at the time. After all, it’s not wrong to want love and that you are perfect the way you are irrespective of whether someone sees it or not.
Cry every night until I’m tired of crying and fully grasp that it was me who allowed shit to continue. And then I accept the experience and move on knowing I could not have felt that way forever and not giving that shit head anymore second of my life.
feel you, i got out of a situationship that lasted more than one year. their lack of honesty isn’t an us problem.
1) Praise self for liking / loving with intention and doing your best 2) Realize it was their shortcomings and their loss given step #1 3) Remember what a badass catch you are
edit: formatting
By thinking how you’ve finally gain self respect and that’s a huge win. You were sucked in a situationship because you only wanted to feel loved and hoped the other person will feel the same. The fact that you are out of it means you finally chose yourself!
Honestly, time helps. I wasn’t so much disgusted with myself because I was a naive 20 year old virgin but my fwb kinda fucked me up with the mind games. I moved on with my now husband and life is so much better ❤️🩹
Remind yourself that this was a lesson you had to learn. You are stronger now that you were before, more knowledgeable, and more resilient. Better things are coming your way as a direct result of the experience you had. Lean into self love and therapy and you will land exactly where you are meant to be
Get into another one immediately
Just get back to the things that grounds you. Your own interests, things that bring you joy and confidence. Spend time with people who love you. Journal about it and get it out there. It’ll fade soon
Respect your boundaries with yourself. Mean what you say. Having self discipline and adding value and consequences to your word is what will set you free.
I went to therapy and learnt about inner child.
What will a child do in a situation when someone gave hopes of love to them and then took it away? She will do whatever she learnt growing up as a young girl to stay in such relationship.
How will I react if my kid is in same situation? Will I be disgusted ? No
Will I criticise them? No
I will sit with them, hug them, console them. Again and again and again, till the feeling vanish.
She has been all alone all this while, and looking for other men adults to give her love. And I myself was abandoning my inner child too.
So no more, I am with my inner child. Shamelessly, unabashedly. Whatever she did was what she knew. That’s ok. She is just a kid.
Once you get here, Then the next steps start.
Hope this helps.
Why would I feel disgusted? I chose to go and stay in that situationship. If I went in assuming it was a real relationship then I’m not at fault other than not leaving soon enough
By looking at your past with *kindsight*: not “What was I thinking?!” but “What was I *learning*?” and then course-correcting.
Learn the lesson. Whatever I was doing that was destructive to myself, find out why I tolerated it it and fix that. Then self-compassion and forgiveness, I’m a person too and I’m not perfect, we all make mistakes.
I refuse to hold disgust for myself in the long term, which helps. I remind myself I am actually a good person with a kind and loving heart and have many good accomplishments. Do the same, OP – you’re bigger than any situationship. You’re a hell of a lot more than some past relationship. And then you can charge forward with your new lesson learned and be empowered to do better next time. Good luck!!
Listen to a lot of podcasts to try and understand things from both sides. Jay shetty & Ken Reid are helpful for me. I’ve learned that mine has avoidant attachment and it’s more of a reflection of him than me, but I’m still bettering myself based off of the excuses I got that blamed me for the reason to not commit