I'm looking to see how others wouldve reacted to this situation… For context, I've been dating my now ex for 5 months. Things were mostly smooth except the little things that were becoming consistent. He would often change, delay, and/or cancel plans last minute for a variety of reasons. He often knew things would change but didn't let me know until right before we were to meet up. He was 30 min late to our first date.
I'm a person who really values their time and requires a bit of planning. I have been understanding, forgiving, and flexible to his everchanging timeline. I did bring up several times, that of this became consistent, it would be a problem. Then I told him that it would be a complete deal breaker if he cancelled big plans. He always promised to "make it up to me" but never did and he never changed.
Well, that time came. He was away for work for a month with minimal to no contact due to the nature of his work. We had planned to rejoice the night he came back. It started off with him saying he'd come straight to my place. Then he said he needed to drop off stuff and get clothes at his place(he lives with his family). A few minutes later he calls me to tell me he's staying to have dinner with his parents. I told him that it was upsetting because I had dinner waiting for him…his first question was to ask what it was…..Then he texts me to tell me he won't be long and insisted he'd come over even after I said not to worry about it right now. I'm waiting and waiting. I get a call but couldn't answer right away but received a text stating that his family had a surprise party for him and that he wasn't coming at all after all. No invite, no acknowledgement of the hurt, and a vague, noncommittal plan to "come over first thing tomorrow."
That was it for me. I waited a whole month for him and planned several days in advance to have a nice dinner. Cleaned my apartment top to bottom, shaved, got dolled up….for nothing. I called him out and told him that it was weird his family planned a surprise party knowing we had plans AND didn't even bother to invite me. He started back pedaling and saying I was invited and that he wanted to see me. I stood my ground and told him that I couldn't do this anymore. I stayed firm in my decision and had him pick up his things the next day. I wonder if I was too harsh in not having a more in-depth conversation about the issue although my decision would've been the same.
TLDR. Broke up with my bf because he was consistently flaky. He knew my boundary but decided to disrespect it. What would you have done? was I too harsh?