So I don’t really have a problem with it but when me and my gf and starting to get into it with each other she always gets a toy out and uses that it has a few settings and can be quite powerful she uses it for about 10 minutes at its full power and once she’s done with it she’s ready for me, but she always finishes with the toy so I only get to have my fun for a few minutes and by that time she is zoned out after already finishing. I feel like she doesn’t enjoy it with me and just gets all her pleasure from the toy


25 comments

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    Post title: She uses toys before sex

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    So I don’t really have a problem with it but when me and my gf and starting to get into it with each other she always gets a toy out and uses that it has a few settings and can be quite powerful she uses it for about 10 minutes at its full power and once she’s done with it she’s ready for me, but she always finishes with the toy so I only get to have my fun for a few minutes and by that time she is zoned out after already finishing. I feel like she doesn’t enjoy it with me and just gets all her pleasure from the toy

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  2. Have you ever talked about why she does that? And have you ever told her how it makes you feel?

  3. find a toy she can use while you’re inside her, maybe u can even make it fun by having a toy that you can control. bottom line the toy should be your teammate not your opponent.

  5. Have you considered talking to her about it?

    What are you doing for foreplay? When did she start doing this? Why are you describing sex like its some kind of “fairness” thing?

    If you “only get to have my fun” for a few minutes…do you not enjoy any other parts of sex?

    Do you just say “lets have sex” and then she goes off and uses her toy?

    So much information is missing here

  6. Normally I would say don’t worry about it, but if it’s 10 minutes every time, and she’s worn out for you, it’s definitely you. Sorry man.

  7. Toys in the bedroom can be awesome but it sounds like you are being excluded from the process. Try using it on her and having it coinside with other mutual activities.

  8. Hate to say it, but it makes me wonder if she started doing this because you weren’t taking the time to make her cum and only took your “few minutes of fun” and that was that… now of course I don’t know you or your girlfriend, so my advice would be talk to her! Having conversations about these things is SO important in a relationship. People don’t do this enough and it just leads to insecurities and resentment. Maybe she does enjoy sex with you but feels bad for how long it takes for her to cum without using a toy? As a woman thats definitely a worry I’ve had over the years myself, for example.. you won’t know unless you talk to her. And remember to go into the conversation in an inquisitive manner, not an accusitory one, pref at a time you’re not about to have sex or anything, like after dinner or while watching tv. This often helps taking some of the pressure and emotional load off the conversation.

  9. Hide her charger!

    I’m kidding. Legit you just need to have a conversation. Ask her if you can finish before her and ask if you can use the toy on her to get her off at the end. Hopefully this is a Compromise that works for you both 🫶 my wife will get off before we fuck, then during once or twice and usually after. Greedy! But you know what? I get credit for all of those orgasms 😎

  12. Ngl that’s kind of selfish of her? Like if she wants to use toys sometimes or maybe when you guys aren’t doing anything or you’re gone I guess that’s ok but to always use it and not think of how it could make you feel during sex is a bit selfish in my opinion of her. I think you should have a conversation about it.

  13. Definitely get a toy you guys can use during so you can both get off at the same time! Use it on her before for a couple minutes to get her aroused and then bring it back out during the actual intercourse. It should be fun for the both of you !

  14. Gotta talk about it. It’s the only way. She may not even realize it is an issue and maybe you two can find a good compromise. Either you use it on her, you do things to satisfy her differently, or maybe just to switch it up you finish first then she takes care of herself. There are myriad reasons she may do this and many ways to work through it. Hope you work ot out!!

  16. The point of that is to guarantee herself an orgasm

    I’d recommend learning to have fun with her while she does that and/or take over with the toy

  17. My husband and I have about 10 minutes of foreplay, kissing, undressing each other, caressing. Then he will use the vibrator and gives me an orgasm with it. There is a period of time, maybe 30 seconds after that it is very easy to have another orgasm and he will give me oral, or penetration or whatever he wants. It makes him very ready too and this method always works.

  18. She uses toys before you have PIV. If you’re both there then sex has already started. Ask her how you can be more active in foreplay, with or without the toy.

  19. Have you ever given her an orgasm? How much time do you spend on foreplay? How long can you have penetrative sex before you orgasm?

  21. My wife is the same but most women can have multiple orgasms And i know I can’t! Also it helps my wife get herself wet enough for sex! She can usually get 12 orgasms to my one! Plug-ins a stress reliever and helps you sleep better I know it does for me!

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