I have seen a few things that made me finally come ton’s realization that modern dating is no longer is romantic as it used to be.
For the longest time, people complained that it’s the dating apps. I don’t blame them. It made dating like shopping on Amazon. Everyone is looking for Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. And now that everyone is ditching dating apps, companies are popping up to create dating event, but it’s still like dating apps. It’s designed to get as many people possible in a single room for a finite amount of time. It just replaces the venue from online, to in person. But the problem stays the same.
And just like capitalism, people treating dating the same. Just as how people trying to hire entry level jobs and requiring 3 years of experience, in the dating world, people are pretty much asking “what you can bring to the table,” like it’s a job interview. And just like how in capitalism, how companies stopped training people, the same thing is happening with people. I’m not talking about someone who is a psycho, but if someone makes a mistake or have certain faux pas, that’s a deal breaker. It is only then left with people with an insane amount of requirements.
I think we can break the cycle, but it is gonna take huge effort from everyone. Like we need to all start going to therapy and stop chasing the dopamine.
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I think the bigger problem is that social media tends to polarize people by design to create more profits. By doing so we see more prejudice against the other gender. Oh of course there are also dating apps who wants to make you feel insecure and there are redpill dudes who wants to capitalize on that insecurity. Capitalism is everywhere. It always has been
Ive seen the comparison lately myself. Coming from a guys perspective, ive noticed women approach dating in a much different way.. its all emotion based, and if they arent instantly feeling it, they either ghost or move on politely to the next one.. its a numbers game and capitalism is all about quantity over quality.. (atleast in a production sense). Even bosses sometimes act that way towards employees. You get a short window to prove yourself, and if your profile (i.e. a resume or work ethic) doesnt catch their eye or fit their style, then your SOL
Exactly, you’re not going to find the perfect person even if they seem perfect on paper. People are so unrealistic about dating/relationships. 50% of marriages in the U.S. don’t survive.
Capitalism didn’t “finally enter dating”. This is the beginning of late-stage capitalism. This is the beginning of the end, and it’s not going to end well.
Right now, we’re seeing capitalism infect all areas of life and suck all the value out of them. It’s going to get much worse before it starts to get better.
Every day, billions of people are being punished relentlessly just so the top 100,000 people can have a little bit more. Individual change can’t fix this. No amount of self-improvement can fix the massive societal failures we are facing. Everything, including dating, is rotting. The only way to fix it is to throw it all out and start over.
I mean I just can’t help asking what she could bring to the table when she needs me to have a car, my own place, make a lot more money than her , be good looking, fit and tall. I’m basically gonna have to be better than her in every way
I don’t quite agree that capitalism has suddenly “entered dating” like your title. I believe the reasoning and examples that you mention in your post are also visible in relationships/dating/people from many years ago.
>But the problem stays the same.
RFI: What exactly is the problem that carries over from dating apps to in-person dating events?
>Just as how people trying to hire entry level jobs and requiring 3 years of experience, in the dating world, people are pretty much asking “what you can bring to the table,” like it’s a job interview.
Historically, men were expected to bring stability and put food on the table. Women were expected to bring the ability to bare children and be a home-maker. Those expectations were socially accepted and understood by everyone involved. No one needed to ask what the other person was going to bring to the table because the expectation was already there.
In the current world where both men and women have the ability to bring stability and put food on the table, requirements and expectations from a romantic partner have shifted to suit. This is why you see more people asking what the other person brings to the table in today’s dating world.
>And just like how in capitalism, how companies stopped training people, the same thing is happening with people. I’m not talking about someone who is a psycho, but if someone makes a mistake or have certain faux pas, that’s a deal breaker.
Many companies have very good training systems in place. The large majority of smaller businesses do not. I don’t know if this is a result of capitalism, greed, or a lack of time to create foundations in order to support training staff. Probably a little bit of all of the above. I know it’s a lack of time in my business, as I’m currently tasked with developing training material for new staff.
I do have issues with how picky some people are, but that’s their right. Again, not sure if it’s capitalistic. I believe it has more to do with upbringing, education and environment, which shapes an individual’s beliefs, values and ability to introspect or think critically rather than being strictly a result of capitalist influence.
I don’t know if it’s capitalism, but rather that many of us, especially women but also men, are no longer financially forced into relationships in order to get our basic human needs met. Dating becomes a completely different game when it’s something you want to do, not something you basically have to do to survive, as in previous generations. Like anything else that goes from a must-have to a nice-to-have, it’s going to decline in popularity.
Define please unrealistic expectations or small mistakes?
Guys who are saying that women are too picky, yeah, because in the worst case you’re dead.
I did 6 months of online dating after my divorce. I don’t want to get back into online dating, I would rather pay for the offline dating event or meet people in a natural way. At least when you meet people in real life you know if you’re physically attracted to them or not.
Also, probably what you define as a small mistake is a huge value incompatibility for the other person.
The problem is not capitalism, the problem is that women want an emotionally available safe partner, and a lot of men are just not that. I was already married to a manchild, it was exhausting, I don’t want to do this again.
It’s always been like that but just the technology facilitated it and made it more obvious, also people don’t care anymore or less patient due to technology so they express that right off the bat without much social pressure or concerns