What was it like dating someone who wasn’t a “bad” partner, but they weren’t necessarily great or amazing?
September 2, 2025
What was it like dating someone who wasn’t a “bad” partner, but they weren’t necessarily great or amazing?
19 comments
It was not necessarily bad, but it was neither great or amazing
It’s… fine. But in the immortal words of Roy Kent “He’s fine, that’s it. nothing wrong with that, most people are fine. It’s not about him, it’s about why the fuck you think he deserves you? You deserve someone who who makes you feel like you got struck by fucking lightning. Don’t you dare settle fine!”
Exactly how you described it – not bad, but not great or amazing. I was with a guy who was a good person, but he wasn’t my person. I spent nearly the entirety of the relationship wondering what else was out there, even though there wasn’t really anything wrong with the guy. Being in a relationship with one foot out the door isn’t fair to either person in the relationship.
Suitable for a short-term relationship
I’m 30 now and when it comes to both dating and just life experiences in general – I absolutely find myself trying to go for few amazing experiences over many just “good” experiences.
Like when I look back at the last few years, what I remember are the peak moments, the days where things felt truly amazing and special. The just-good moments all blur together and don’t stand out. Going forward, I’m going for amazing, even though it is much much harder to find.
I got him to marry me and it was a fucking disaster that ended in divorce 15 years later.
it got exhausting quickly. I kept wondering if there was someone out there who’d be a better fit for me, even though on paper we seemed to be a great match. he was kind and generous and we had similar interests, and I loved that we could listen to music and go to shows together. he was a good first partner to have after I had ended a not-so-great long term relationship, but I ultimately broke up with him because he had low self-esteem and was unwilling to work on it
i’m now dating someone I’m obsessed with. can’t get enough of him. i’m glad I didn’t settle
They weren’t amazing to me, but I bet someone will find them just wonderful.
I’d settle for anyone breathing at this point. Being single sucks.
Stable
I got too comfortable which was a big mistake on my part. I shouldn’t have settled for someone that didn’t admire or care for me as much as I did for him. He never went out of his way to do anything for me that I didn’t ask of him and I felt like his primary caretaker. It took someone else to show me that I meant a lot to them, that I AM beautiful, and they would do anything for me. I left him and ended up with someone that cherishes me and would do anything for me. Don’t make the same 5 year mistake I made. Relationships aren’t going to be amazing all the time. Nothing is a fairytale, but you should always be happy and that other person should make you feel great and they should do small things for you everyday. You’re not someone’s mother, you’re their partner.
It lasted two years too long and ended poorly for me. Should have broke up years before.
I married one. He wasn’t mean, he did yell a lot, but he was mostly, I guess indifferent? Never helped me with the house or the yard or the pets. We both worked full-time. Dude wanted a mother, and I am definitely not going to be that for my partner. Spoke to him for 3 years about it, and I finally left. He tried to get me back for 6 months, and I asked him where all this energy was when I was tryna to fix it. He literally said “I never thought you’d leave” Well….sorry buddy, the well ran dry, I had nothing left to give. I had nothing but resentment towards him and it’s so hard to come back from that.
It’s frustrating. You’re always wondering if it’s just you, if you’re missing something, if there are signs you’re not seeing, …
I found that it was in my best interest to go at it alone.
Meh.
I like listening to music. I listen to a lot of different music. But there are very few songs that I want to listen to all the time and for the rest of my life. I dated some people who were like quite good songs. I really enjoyed them, but after 3 months I got tired of them and imagining to have them around me for 5 more years or even 50 years made me realize that they are not my partner for life. It Just wouldnt make me happy, but would be rather annoying after a while and probably very annoying and boring if I wait to long before I stop seeing them.
Every day felt monotonous and honestly I felt sad about it. People deserve to be with someone who makes them feel like the sun shines out of their butt, and I knew I deserved that too. It wasn’t enough then, and I knew it wouldn’t be enough to last me until the end of my days so I eventually decided to leave.
I broke up with my partner not because he wasn’t a nice person or a decent partner, but because I wasn’t excited about anything regarding the relationship. I wasn’t excited to spend time with him, didn’t necessarily think of him during the day, or got aroused at the idea of sex with him. Everything about our relationship from beginning to the end straddled the middle and I found myself craving something more… like… anything. There was nothing about the relationship that enticed me to participate in a deeper way, so I didn’t.
19 comments
It was not necessarily bad, but it was neither great or amazing
It’s… fine. But in the immortal words of Roy Kent “He’s fine, that’s it. nothing wrong with that, most people are fine. It’s not about him, it’s about why the fuck you think he deserves you? You deserve someone who who makes you feel like you got struck by fucking lightning. Don’t you dare settle fine!”
Exactly how you described it – not bad, but not great or amazing. I was with a guy who was a good person, but he wasn’t my person. I spent nearly the entirety of the relationship wondering what else was out there, even though there wasn’t really anything wrong with the guy. Being in a relationship with one foot out the door isn’t fair to either person in the relationship.
Suitable for a short-term relationship
I’m 30 now and when it comes to both dating and just life experiences in general – I absolutely find myself trying to go for few amazing experiences over many just “good” experiences.
Like when I look back at the last few years, what I remember are the peak moments, the days where things felt truly amazing and special. The just-good moments all blur together and don’t stand out. Going forward, I’m going for amazing, even though it is much much harder to find.
I got him to marry me and it was a fucking disaster that ended in divorce 15 years later.
it got exhausting quickly. I kept wondering if there was someone out there who’d be a better fit for me, even though on paper we seemed to be a great match. he was kind and generous and we had similar interests, and I loved that we could listen to music and go to shows together. he was a good first partner to have after I had ended a not-so-great long term relationship, but I ultimately broke up with him because he had low self-esteem and was unwilling to work on it
i’m now dating someone I’m obsessed with. can’t get enough of him. i’m glad I didn’t settle
They weren’t amazing to me, but I bet someone will find them just wonderful.
I’d settle for anyone breathing at this point. Being single sucks.
Stable
I got too comfortable which was a big mistake on my part. I shouldn’t have settled for someone that didn’t admire or care for me as much as I did for him. He never went out of his way to do anything for me that I didn’t ask of him and I felt like his primary caretaker. It took someone else to show me that I meant a lot to them, that I AM beautiful, and they would do anything for me. I left him and ended up with someone that cherishes me and would do anything for me. Don’t make the same 5 year mistake I made. Relationships aren’t going to be amazing all the time. Nothing is a fairytale, but you should always be happy and that other person should make you feel great and they should do small things for you everyday. You’re not someone’s mother, you’re their partner.
It lasted two years too long and ended poorly for me. Should have broke up years before.
I married one. He wasn’t mean, he did yell a lot, but he was mostly, I guess indifferent? Never helped me with the house or the yard or the pets. We both worked full-time. Dude wanted a mother, and I am definitely not going to be that for my partner. Spoke to him for 3 years about it, and I finally left. He tried to get me back for 6 months, and I asked him where all this energy was when I was tryna to fix it. He literally said “I never thought you’d leave” Well….sorry buddy, the well ran dry, I had nothing left to give. I had nothing but resentment towards him and it’s so hard to come back from that.
It’s frustrating. You’re always wondering if it’s just you, if you’re missing something, if there are signs you’re not seeing, …
I found that it was in my best interest to go at it alone.
Meh.
I like listening to music. I listen to a lot of different music. But there are very few songs that I want to listen to all the time and for the rest of my life. I dated some people who were like quite good songs. I really enjoyed them, but after 3 months I got tired of them and imagining to have them around me for 5 more years or even 50 years made me realize that they are not my partner for life. It Just wouldnt make me happy, but would be rather annoying after a while and probably very annoying and boring if I wait to long before I stop seeing them.
Every day felt monotonous and honestly I felt sad about it. People deserve to be with someone who makes them feel like the sun shines out of their butt, and I knew I deserved that too. It wasn’t enough then, and I knew it wouldn’t be enough to last me until the end of my days so I eventually decided to leave.
I broke up with my partner not because he wasn’t a nice person or a decent partner, but because I wasn’t excited about anything regarding the relationship. I wasn’t excited to spend time with him, didn’t necessarily think of him during the day, or got aroused at the idea of sex with him. Everything about our relationship from beginning to the end straddled the middle and I found myself craving something more… like… anything. There was nothing about the relationship that enticed me to participate in a deeper way, so I didn’t.