I went on a weekend trip with a group of friends. One of which I've been interested in for some time. I never really got to know her fully but wanted to state my intentions, so I asked her out. Her response was “I'm not sure if there's anything there romantically but I wouldn't be opposed to hanging out. I'm just not looking for anything serious until after i graduate.” That was a few months ago. She has since graduated. And 2 weeks ago she told her best friend (who then told me) that it wasn't a hard no.
We went on a weekend trip together as a group this past weekend. I thought it went really well. We were both flirtatiously teasing each other. She seemed interested in me. I was on the fence about whether I really liked her before the trip, but after spending a lot of time with her, I like her a lot. I thought we were really compatible and might have a shot.
Something weird about her is that she is afraid of raw fruit. Something about the texture and her childhood. She's made progress over the years but still won't eat it on its own. I brought on the trip some raw grapes that I grew. We had been drinking and I offered her one. She first said no but then I offered her it again. I looked her deep in the eyes and said "just try it". I felt a deep connection when I looked into her eyes. She took it and ate it. She began tearing up saying how she liked the flavor and about how emotional of an event it was. Her 2 best friends were actually shocked that I got her to try one. I was shocked that I managed to do that.
The trip was fun and went well. But today I asked her friend if she said anything about me on the drive home. She told me that "She thinks more friends then relationship". Now i feel physically sick. I haven't felt this bad since my high school crush rejected me.
I don't think all hope is lost, her best friend did tell me she takes a long time to get attached to people. She's had some rough relationships previously. I'm unfortunately on the opposite of the spectrum. I get attached too easily and misread situations and overthink. Part of me wants her to directly tell me no so I can move on, but the other part of me wants to remain hopeful that she might change her mind. I'm just going to use this as gym motivation and try to move on. I don't think realized how much I liked her.