I'm a guy but my sexual interests are categorized as submissive. I don't have much irl proof (mainly feedback from previous partners and discussions with guys) but online my sexual pleasure is deemed submissive. Maybe it's the stigma of being a submissive male I don't like. Are women counted as submissive if they like the stuff I like?
Anal, choking, submissive(?) positions, spanking, hair pulling, caressing, and even enjoying going down on someone (somehow???). These things seem to be the pretty normal for women to enjoy. I think of myself as a manly guy. I don't believe having some insecurities, taking care of myself or covering myself up makes me girly or submissive (I don't think it makes women those things either). Shouldn't being submissive be more of an attitude than the stuff you're into? I'm not expecting my partner to denigrate me or spit in my face. I don't like that enjoying anal is considered a kink or fetish or gay. It's not like I can't have normal sex either, I can be just a regular guy during sex most of time.
It feels like a gamble when looking for a partner. I like to wait before doing anything sexual but I also wanna get all my "weird perversions" out of the way so I can focus on the relationship. Last thing I want to do is surprise someone expecting normal sex with "can ya dig up in muh butt?" nor do I want to be stuck in a relationship where I can't fulfill my sexual interests
Women who are into the same things I am, is it hard to find a willing partner? Do you consider your interests a needed discussion prior to sexual activities or is it kind of expected you might already be into that stuff? Am I glossing over your experiences with what I said?
Submissive men, do you see any stigma with being labeled as such? Is the title something you find pride in? Is it hard to find someone interested in you because of this? When do you decide to mention your sexual interests to someone? Can you go without submissive sex in a relationship or is it a necessity?