35m here – the last year I feel like I’ve had a big jump in maturity and change in values that has actually had a counterintuitive impact on me mentally.
For context, up until I was 33, I was single, liked to party (very occasional recreational use and alcohol), had a few fights when I was in college and made a lot of the regular mistakes many young men make.
Since turning 33, I’ve met my now fiancée, sorted my finances out, have a stable career and live in a very caring and loving environment. I strive to be the best person I can be every day and make a positive impact on those around me.
The irony is that as this has developed, the last few months my past has really played on my mind, making me feel somewhat guilty for being a bit reckless and generally just being a regular young guy.
I’ve never done anything seriously bad, and at heart I’ve always been a bit of a softie that just wanted everyone to be happy, but this last few months I’ve just been replaying certain times in my head like when I got too drunk and blacked out that one time, or when I got in a physical fight in a soccer game, or sent a text to someone in an argument that wasn’t my best performance.
I feel somewhat that this is growth in me as a person that makes me feel guilt, and nobody is perfect, but has anyone else felt like this as they’ve got older?