Me (21M) and my girlfriend (22F) have always been very kinky and we're open minded so we've tried lots of different things in bed, but for a couple months now we've started talking about having threesomes and about exchanging partners with another couple, we've always had solid trust on each other and amazing communication.
But the more we talk about it the more I've fantasized about watching her have sex with somebody else, I've looked into this kind of kink but I'm not sure if it's just some weird fantasy or something I'd really like to try. I've talked about this with my GF and she likes the idea too, we've even talked about planning it already.
But I'm scared, like, I know I get turned on by it and I'd like to try it, but it somehow feels wrong, I feel ashamed of wanting this but I don't know what to do.
PS: I have thought about going to therapy but I can't afford it right now, does anybody have any advice on how to understand more about what I feel or something?