I need some advice, my partner and I have been together for nearly 5 years, the sex went from once or twice a week to once every 3/5 months. Whenever she's in the mood it's always in the early hours of the morning where I have to get up for work at 4:30am. She used to wake me up for it but she'd notice the next day id be very tired, sluggish and really negatively affect from lack of sleep. I've woken up once or twice to her playing with herself or she'd tell me that she did the next day. When I try and initiate she usually says not now, maybe later but later never comes (and neither do I lol)
The sex is very very vanilla, went from the same 3 positions to the same 2 positions and me going down on her and that's fine for me but she has never orgasmed. She says it's fine but I want to give her that but she's not sure on how to.
I ask her if there's anything she wants to try or if she has any fantasies but she says she doesn't know and wants to change the conversation because she feels awkward and embarrassed and doesn't want to talk about it.
I've asked about maybe trying a blowjob as I've never had one and she instantly said no.
Is there any advice on how to try and get her to communicate more? Is there anything I can do to help her feel less embarrassed and awkward? Is there any techniques or things I can try to get her to orgasm? I'm pretty limited with what I can do due to below average size and struggling to last longer (wouldn't mind advice on how to, hoping the gym might help) I've tried suggesting toys but she didn't like the sound of it