My partner [24M] and I [26F] have been together for 5 years and it was a rough 5 years but we got through it together. I’ve been asking him to get married for the longest time to which he keeps putting it off to settle down in life. He hasn’t really made any progress in making any income or settling down but he always knew he wanted to end up with me. We’ve met each other’s families and they all are on board with the idea of us.
He went through a personal loss recently and has been angry at life and depressed. I’ve been helping him through it but we have our fights now and again. We decided to travel recently to have a little time away from all the stress.
During the trip he got really high one night while I was in the hotel and called up a friend of ours and told her that he’s had feelings for her for the past 4-5 years. He had no recollection of it after that night and we never spoke about it.
Once I came back from the trip, the friend told me what had happened and when I confronted him about it, he apologized for it and said he never felt that way and didn’t know where it came from. He said it was while he was under the influence and it really isn’t true. He’s never been the kind of guy who would cheat on me or anything vet look at another girl in the wrong way. But now I feel embarrassed and disrespected that people will now hear from her about what happened. He told me he’ll build back the trust again and fix us but he hasn’t really made any effort so far. I’m too broken to go on with anything else in my life.
I don’t know what to do about the relationship?
TL;DR Partner (24M) of 5 years avoids marriage, no stability, and confessed feelings for my friend—now I feel broken and lost (26F). What do I do?