It's as the title says… I'm incredibly touch starved and it is getting worse with each passing month. I'm 25, neurodivergent (I have dealt with depression for over a decade, too), and I'm a bit below average looking, but I have no problem talking to people and making friends – I have lots to say, I like to yap, I'm always asking questions, and I know when to be quiet and listen. I have worked on myself for many years, both mentally and physically. I went from being unable to even leave the house on my own, to travelling to far away cities to see bands without any help. I lost 20kg in about two years by going to the gym consistently, again with no help. I try and be self-aware, improve myself, and make a real effort. I'm really trying, as much as I possibly can.
I am a lover – I seriously enjoy talking to people, doing small acts of kindness, and helping as many people as I can. I'm ready for a relationship, to finally experience something deeper and also physical – I'm curious, eager, and very willing – but nothing works out. My friends say my dating app profiles are perfectly fine and they don't understand why I am getting no matches. I post on dating subs and get no replies, I have tried reaching out to people, asking girls out on dates, approaching IRL, going to events, but nothing materialises; it feels like I am genuinely cursed to never find someone, no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do… No matter how forward I am, no matter how flexible I am with my schedule, and no matter how accommodating I am.
I should also say that, beyond physical touch like hugs, I have a high libido, which makes the situation even worse, because that is something I enjoy and want to enjoy with a partner. I am lonely and so damn frustrated at my inability, and I get even more frustrated when I am told to work on myself, or to simply wait, both of which I have heard a hundred times already.
What more can I do besides what I am already doing? It's constant waiting, and I am tired.