I honestly don't know what to say about it. It feels like I need to be perfect in everyone's eyes. Like I need to make these characters so I can fit in. And if I make one god damn slip up and act like myself I'm just fucked, like I might as well be dead to them. Idk I understand that people don't hate me for being myself but it just feels like I need to be the perfect little fucking pushover just so I know everyone around me is happy. And it's hard cause I get my energy from people but first I need to find a way to bond with these people or I just feel dead inside. Idk if it links back to trauma or what but it sucks ass and I wish I could just feel like I'm able to act naturally around people. I'm not even real to the people I love anymore.