Background: I’m 35, husband is 38. We’ve been together 15 years and married for 12. No kids.
I’ve long known my husband is very … sexually adventurous, in that the wilder the fantasy, the more excited he is. Lately, we’ve been having a lot of discussions around his fantasies and I feel like I’ve been getting drawn into them. Example: He’s very into the idea of me being with another man (especially while he watches), loves the idea of me being pleasured by someone else, has expressed interest in me cuckolding him. He has been sharing a lot which I appreciate, because it takes a lot of honesty and humility to share a desire like that, and if I’m being honest, there are times when I find it pretty hot.
But as we’ve explored this fantasy, I feel very conflicted. In the past I’ve been pretty vanilla with my sexual preferences (example: my big fantasy is to have sex on a beach) and now I feel like I’m entering whole new world where my eyes are opened up. Sometimes I find it hot and it turns me on, but sometimes it kind of feels like I’m losing my purity and being corrupted a bit. I have long enjoyed a very optimistic, probably romantic view of the world, and I feel like that is disappearing as I start to go down this path with my husband.
I guess I’m just asking whether anyone thinks this is a good idea or a bad idea? Should I keep exploring this for him and myself, or should I let myself continue living in the world where simple, uncomplicated things turn me on?