I've (F 22) have been seeing someone (M 28) the past 5 months. We met in person but we live 6 hours away from each other. Since we met, we've texted everyday and it's usually about our day to day. We used to call but its usually a few different ways of staying connected. We've visited each other about once a month.
We know each other pretty well I would say, we're attracted to each other, similar values, many of our discussed relationship ideas align. I've met his friends, he's met mine (casually). We've both been out of serious relationships for over a year. Truly, this is someone I would want to eventually date. At first, it felt easy to be like we'll see! But I can't lie he is so awesome.
I struggle with anxious attachment, which I'm in therapy for. Actually, meeting him inspired me to return to therapy and work on trauma/relationship issues. I wasn't expecting to meet someone I truly like so much. He expressed before that he would want to see if this is feasible and not wanting to rush, considering the distance. We're both going through big life/job/relationship changes and I can see he's a really independent person.
We have not discussed exclusivity explicitly, there's been once or twice that we've made jokes about it. I am getting to the point I might want to ask where he sees our connection heading because I've become more attached. I don't need a label immediately, I would just want to know if we're on the same page about continuing to build a connection towards something, at least that's where I'm at. If this was the case, I would know when the time was right to make that commitment. If it was something he felt was temporary, we may be on different pages.
Because we talk about everyday stuff and not much serious (unless something happens in our lives) and more deep talks when we get in person, I'm wondering how to approach the "what's next" conversation. I would want this connection to continue to be meaningful and build (eventually), I wouldn't want this to plateau. He's initiated the other conversations, I think if it doesn't come up naturally I'd want to initiate it because I would want this connection to continue to be intentional.
How should I approach this conversation? How do I continue to build the connection?