I (29F) and my husband (28M) have an absolutely terrible sex life. We do have 2 small kids so its harder for any kind of intimacy but ours is completely nonexistent. I am a very open minded person and I have a few kinks, meanwhile my husband is very vanilla. He almost resembles a teenager when it comes to sex. He only really cares about his own personal pleasure, he is constantly doing things that I told him I dont like over and over and over again and its driving me crazy. I have had dozens of conversations about it with him and nothing ever changes. He either doesnt respond or says things will change but never do.
A long time ago he stopped caring if i finished or not and 99% of the time I never would and he would just get dressed and that was it. Now its to the point where he will not have sex with me. When things start thats always the intention but as soon as i start giving him head, thats all it will be and hell finish that way. It got to the point where I stopped completely because I knew it would be not pleasurable for me and I grew to hate even giving him head when i used to love it. it still turns me on now, but it just pisses me off when its over and he doesnt try to return the favor. ive been down right mean af about it to him because ive been so fed up and he still acts like he doesnt know why i dont wanna have sex with him or why i never initiate anything. We do anal more than vaginal penetration honestly. and for some reason he will NOT use lube even when I bring it out and ill be super dry so if we do have sex i always stop it.
Honestly I dont really know what to do that I havent already done. I offered to write out my fantasies, to read a sex scene from a book that I like, role playing, toys, etc and nothing works.