hey everyone…just really heartbroken. not even sure why i’m posting on here except to be heard and hopefully understood😭🥺for context… i’m a (23f) and my husband is a (27m). we’ve been married 2 years now, and something that has really affected me is the shame i feel about being sexual or needing sex these days . before him and while we were dating the shame and embarrassment was never an issue, we’re christian so even tho we both were not virgins before we met, we didn’t sleep together until we got married. things were okay for a few months, there would be periods where he wouldn’t want sex, saying he’d be too tired etc. we got his hormones checked and his T was fine. that was a year ago.
well we have meandered into the future with the same thing happening, and for context i don’t ask for sex a lot. i try to be giving when he needs it, unless im in a lot of pain or very depressed (not often). i will shave, shower, moisturize, wear the prettiest lingerie and legit lay on my stomach with my butt up and ask him to “moisturize my back”… and nothing. i don’t get it. when it comes to me, i feel like its a toss up whether that need gets met. it’s breaking my heart, and it has so many times over the last couple years, i just wonder why im doing it to myself anymore. ☹️ i love him alot. he’s a great partner in every other way, engaged, honest (i think). i don’t want to think of him cheating or watching 🌽 but atp id accept any answer that isn’t him not being attracted to me anymore. he says he is, he says all the right things but we maybe have sex once a week at this point. he works 40 hour weeks, a high stress job, we’re pretty active people and both in considerably great health. 😭 i don’t understand, im starting to think i made a mistake…i am hit on almost everywhere i go, park, gym, store (i know i am an attractive girl) and i have a sweet temperament that a lot of men find attractive. im in great shape and work out everyday. trying not to internalize it but at this point i am so done with it. if you read this far thank you…don’t know who to talk to or go to because this is apparently not super common with my friends.