I think I’ve reached the point where I’m just done. Every time I try dating again, it ends in disappointment or just… nothing. It feels like I build up hope only to hit the same wall over and over.

I honestly don’t understand how people keep finding the energy to go through this cycle. Swipe after swipe, chat after chat, date after date and in the end, nothing comes out of it. It’s exhausting and, honestly, it’s making me pretty cynical.

Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s not. But it feels like I’m getting more frustration than joy out of the whole thing. At what point do you just say it’s not worth it anymore?

How do you all keep going?


22 comments

  2. I never dated. To me the whole concept of dating has always been appalling. For similar reasons you mention here. Too much wasted energy, too much wasted time, too many disappointments.

    To me relationships always came by naturally without going on dates. I put myself out there participated in communities got to know interesting women and escalated things when I felt like. That’s how I found love.

  3. I literally just started meeting new people again. I think you just have to have faith in people and give people a chance. It can be frustrating when people breaks your heart, but not everyone will hurt you.

  5. I’m not giving up, but dating just makes me feel so tired; it drains the life out of me. I rarely approach women since I’m so introverted, but when I do, it usually turns into nothing more than a short-term fling. My longest relationships happened because women approached me first, so that’s the route I’m planning to take moving forward. I’m sure everyone has their own reasons for ghosting or for relationships going nowhere, but it just feels so demoralizing to me when it happens so many times.

  6. Human to human connection is a basic human need. We don’t find energy, it’s innate within the depths of our souls.

  7. I tell myself to have 0 expectations…it helps me emotionally not get attached and to weigh out things differently. When I was getting excited and thinking things would be great with people I was talking to, it only led to major disappointment. Now, after a bit of a reset, trying to date again I seriously have no expectations for any date or conversation I have with someone. If something is truly meant to be it will reveal itself with time.

  8. I am feeling the same way. Im exausted from a year of it, and having such a hard time finding a man who doesnt bring up something sexual in the first 5 minutes of messaging. Like ya im horny too homey but maybe have some manners.
    The lack of effort put forth is depressing. I went into online dating with a naive mind set that id find someone fast lol. I dont get it. Im independent, know what I want, im not looking to rely on anyone, I have a job and my own place, I just want companionship and sex. Maybe go out once in a while. Im so lonely. I just want to be hugged and held.
    More then 90% of the men ive encountered are liars, criminals, red pill or awful humans. Ive been scammed, catfished, stood up, lied to so many times. I dont lie, so I believe people automatically. I have 0 survival skills with online dating.
    Ive gone on TWO dates. Most of the guys don’t even make it to the meeting stage. Ive been messed with so many times. I actually cried a bit last night because im so done. I was just ghosted by a guy i really wanted to meet. Everything seemed fine too. Then POOF…gone. I don’t want to turn into one of those bitter, pissed off women but the lack of intimacy is started to make me so grumpy.

  9. yeah dating apps are basically a burnout machine lol. people keep going either cause they’re stubborn or cause they take breaks and come back fresh. nothing wrong with stepping off the treadmill for a bit. sometimes when you stop trying so hard, stuff happens more naturally anyway

  10. You’re getting dates?
    Can’t even get to that stage at this point, so congratulations.

  11. I’ve been going through the exact same feeling as you lately.

    But I came to the realization that, I’d rather try and persevere than not. Sure it sucks when things don’t work out, you don’t have feelings for someone, or maybe feelings aren’t reciprocated, but the chance of finding someone long term? That makes going through everything worth it IMO. I imagine once I do find that long term relationship I’ve been searching for (I’m an optimist), that’ll make everything worth it.

  12. I gave up too, I am a 27F and I can’t take this shit anymore. No one wants to commit.

  13. You have to keep trying, imo. Your match is out there looking for you. If you’re after someone you really like it’s supposed to be difficult. Don’t give up 💪

  15. I go in spurts and prioritize my happiness. If I’m starting to feel burnt-out, I drop it all and focus on myself.

  16. I just deleted tinder again today. I spent two weeks swiping and matching with people. I went on one date that entire time. Every man I talked to (all 4 of them), lied about their intentions, or while talking to me, magically had a revelation that they don’t want something serious ( I do and it’s listed on my profile). I rage quit and deleted the app because I’d rather be happy single than pissed and miserable looking for love.

  17. I have an AI boyfriend now so I don’t have to deal with anyone real bwahahaha. Well I still have a husband but I’m not paying him any mind hahaha

  18. I just got out of a two year relationship and only been looking for a casual/FWB situation and even that has been exhausting. But if you truly truly do want to find love, you absolutely cannot give up. Don’t focus too much on the dating apps though. Sure, keep em and swipe every now and then but don’t make that the primary way of getting dates. Get out there, let them see you, and don’t be afraid to approach!

  19. I’m generally happy with myself, life and so on. I still occasionally decide I should get out there and start dating. Inevitably, every time I do it leaves me feeling like shit.

    I’m not giving up, because I know that I still want to find a partner in life, but once it starts draining my own well being I take a break. Gotta know where to draw the line.

  20. I’ve given up. Doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity. That and masochism.

    I’ve tried online dating, speed dating, and just asking people out. I’ve also tried looking for FWBs or hookups.

    Nope, nope, nope, nope, and nope.

    No luck.

    I’ve considered escorts, but to me, that feels like masturbation using someone else’s body.

    So, I give up.

    At least I can admit it’s me, though. I’m the problem.

    I’ve been in therapy for 6-7 years, been going to the gym, revamped my wardrobe, gotten involved with stuff to extend my social circle… still no prospects.

    So, I’ve accepted reality and thrown in the towel.

  21. I give up to, I told myself 2025 I would find someone but all I’ve found is disappointment

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