Been w/ my wife 10 years, married 5, I’m 41 from US, she’s 35 from Brazil.
Over the last 2-3 years she’s made it very clear she does not want to hear about my personal problems, dilemmas or any times I may need to just “vent” to her about something. She’s the type who can’t hear an issue without giving a solution. It made a lot of sense to me initially. I hate hearing situations that hurt her. I understand the perspective of wanting to protect your partner from anything. That said, I still listen to her when she needs an ear and not an answer. I know the value of listening.
As I’ve told her, she’s the only person left in my life I can talk to like that. My mom died, dad’s not doing well and besides my wife I have almost nobody left to talk to.
If I was bitching and complaining all the time Id probably understand her POV better, but I’m not. Tonight while at my dads house, I got frustrated about something worth getting frustrated about, dealt with it, didn’t tell my wife about it, though after 40 minutes SHE wouldn’t stop asking and I finally told her and 30 minutes later we were arguing about how I should have resolved the issue on my own and that she didn’t want to be involved in my problems.
I’m so fucking frustrated. Feeling disconnected from her.