I'm 21m. I had conversation with my mom the other day about the day about relationships, specifically friendships. And I explained to her how a lot of male relationships are shallow which is something I've just realized in my 3rd year of college. It's all laughs and giggles but we don't know anything about each other. She also talked about how she has no friends and the only person she's ever needs is her husband, my dad.
I thought to myself, ok that makes sense. Then I started thinking a little deeper about my own relationships, and realized a lot of them or all of them are shallow as hell. Not because no one shares, it's because no one is curious is about the other. I'm a quiet person and I barely speak because I have dealt with anxiety my whole life even to the point I have to take meds for it, but do i do listen very closely to what others say. I still attract "friends" somehow and have been told I'm nice. Not sure how true that is. But these "friends" barley ever call, text when I'm away unless I initiate the conversation.
Always thought it was because maybe they were shallow or were just aquitantances but I've come to realize it's because people are barely curious about each other and I'm not excluded from that group of people. When someone says something, I barely hear a "why, where, when, how", even when someone says or does something questionable nobody questions the other.
Im always curious about what is on the others mind, but I never asked because I was afraid I would be stepping over a boundary or make the others feel uncomfortable. Turns out people don't mind, started an Internship recently and I talked to one of the workers about an illness they had since birth and they didn't mind at all.
Texted the people I am closest with today and told them I would call them. Going to try and see where they are mentally, if that makes any sense.
Invited one of my older friends to come sleep over and I'll try to be more inquisitive about them.
Feels like I've strayed off the path with this post but what I'm saying is. SHARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND DONT BE AFRAID TO QUESTION OTHERS, as I've just realized that's how you build genuine relationships, I think. I'm still learning basic social skills. Be more curious about everyone and anything someone shows you.
Call up your friends and ask for a chat doesn't have to be about anything grand, just how was you're day, did you enjoy that latest album from so and so, what are your thoughts on this story on the news, etc.
Also side question. How would any of you feel if that quiet person in the group suddenly started asking more about you?
What would be the best approach to this?
Sorry if this post doesn't make any sense just wanted to share this somewhere. Apologies for the bad grammar and spelling errors.
Thank you if you took the time to read this🙏