by the time I ended it, everything I had for that relationship was dead but leading up to that was the worst.
That relationship taught me what I didn’t want in a person, what kind of person I didn’t want to be when dating someone, and most of all, how amazing of a person I am and what I deserve.
Turned me from a sad burrito into a spite-fueled glow-up machine. So wrecked me for a moment, but I got ”abs”, learned to cook, and respect my self. 11/10 character development.
I became much more confident after my breakup, but also more sceptical. It was the push I needed to finally start doing things I didn’t have the courage to do before, like travelling solo, practising martial arts and getting my driver’s licence. I’m also in the best shape of my life.
It’s been two years and I am a completely different person, but I sometimes feel sad because I haven’t felt a connection as strong as the one I had with my ex and I’m afraid there’s no one else out there for me.
My first ever breakup happened when I was in highschool. First boyfriend, first in almost everything. I learn to be more compassionate as a person.
I learn who really I am and it pushes me to my limits. At the time of breakup, I do not know what to do so I started working lol. Now I am working for two years and studying as well.
I feel empty. Nothing matters. Every man I look at is not attractive and I don’t feel like having sex with anyone other than him.
This last break up was the final straw for me. I feel numb.
For context, the most painful breakup I’ve had was one that I initiated. He was great but we were from different backgrounds and we wanted different things in life, so I ended things. He showed me that I don’t have to beg for effort, communication or transparency, or to be treated well, and I’ll never settle for less than that again.
It gave me a panic disorder. Now I have panic attacks every single day and I wish I never met him
Left me suicidal, and feeling like I’ll never be good/attractive enough for a man. Severe trust issues. It’s been 3 years and I’m doing therapy. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop thinking about myself in a negative way now.
I think it wasn’t painful because the relationship was meaningful, it just ended at a time where everything was going wrong so it was just the catalyst for me losing my mind. It changed me. So much. I became very bad at existing for the lack of a better word, lost hope, started abusing substances, meaningless sex, lost my self worth. Took me a long time to get out of that headspace.
[removed]
[removed]
Realized that i could not compromise on my needs, got to meet a lot of new people, got out of my comfort zone much more, travelled solo, raved solo, got much more creative and open
It change me for YEARS! I became an absolute legend in breaking hearts purposefully. Meet the parents and then break up with them. I was an awful human being. I am so sorry to the boys I did that too. I was in a dark place and wanted to hurt as many of you as possible. It was NOT your faults it was me. I needed to grow up and mature.
I have no idea what love is anymore and don’t trust it at all
In the immediate aftermath I learned that words don’t matter, history doesn’t matter, family doesn’t matter. I will never be as open or vulnerable with another human being again if for no other reason I just don’t have the time left to establish that kind of bond with someone. (yay gray divorce). And while all that is still true I know understand that I am far smarter, far more resilient and far far more interesting as an individual than I ever was as part of ‘him’. I was never meant to be his cheerleader. I was meant to be mine. I only wish I had learned this decades ago.
Taught me a whole bunch of good lessons that I am less likely to repeat!
Made me realize how much I had let myself be disrespected in the name of being a “good partner”
i’d rather stay single forever than going through that shit ever again. It was hell.
I learned that the only Promises that matter are the ones you make to yourself, becuase you can’t rely on others promises. I’m at peace with my acceptance that all relationships break up and you just have to keep your integrity. I’m also accepting I will be fine if I’m “single” for the rest of my life.
Made me become more avoidant dismissive and slow to emotionally invest and commit.
It completely broke me. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I’m not sure its something I’ll ever get over. My life went from technicolour to black and white. I have no idea how to get past it.
I realized that I couldn’t heal someone with love and I can’t rely on someone else to protect me if I couldn’t even protect myself.
We loved each other very much, but his parents’ tumultuous divorce made him very unstable in relationships (an extreme FA if you know about attachment styles). I just recently blocked him after we were supposed to try again and he, once again, shut down from anxiety and stopped speaking to me. I’m already dealing with a lot, the last thing I need is a grown man who can’t/won’t communicate when there are plenty more that can and will.
A mutual friend told me that he can “see me” for the first time, that he sees a funny, loving and happy person who loves to dance and have a good time and not a almost invisible person I used to be with my ex.
It left me extremely insecure. He had cheated on me a bunch of times and then left me for an 18-year-old (we were in our mid/late 20s). He had also told me a reason every time he cheated. For example, they were prettier, smarter, more alike to him, more fun, not as uptight, etc. He just ended up not being a very good guy. 7 years and a lot of therapy later, I’ve finally found some of the confidence I had when I met him.
I got mad at the world. It’s not just one breakup, but all breakups I had altogether because each time I got into a new relationship, I was hopeful and always gave it my all thinking that it was gonna be different each time. I got so tired that I pushed everyone away cause I would rather be alone. Then this wonderful guy came into my life and little did I know, he’d heal me in so many ways that I didn’t know I needed. Of course I focused on myself too, spent a lot of time with my friends and at the gym so I didn’t really want to be in a relationship only to get hurt again. I pushed him away when I first met him too and for some reason, he kept showing up only because he was following his intuition saying I was actually a good person.
[removed]
Broke me. Haven’t been the same since.
Well all of my breakups were painful.
First breakup was my middle into high school boyfriend, who sexually assaulted me as he dumped me and left me traumatized.
Second breakup I’d been cheated on, and he didn’t even have the guts to face me or dump me so I had to end things even though I was so madly in love with him. Or as in love as you can be when you’re 16.
Third breakup was the most complicated. We entered adulthood together. Got our first apartment with some friends and really started living life as young adults. I thought he was the one, but then he changed. He felt into addiction and I stayed by his side for years thinking I could help him – I also didn’t want to break up our friend group by leaving him. But after 5 years I had checked out of the relationship. He just didn’t respect anything or anyone outside of his next party and his next fix. He was never not drunk or high or both. And I couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted us to both have steady jobs so we could get our own place and get married and have a family…he couldn’t hold a job because he was constantly fucked up, much less manage a household or children. I dumped him twice: after the first time he begged and cried that he would change that he couldn’t lose me that I was the best thing in his life and gave him another chance that only lasted around two weeks before I couldn’t do it and dumped him again. It was a dark time and I swore to just be single forever because I was done with dealing with men.
Luckily everything I went through was worth it because I found my husband and have a wonderful life with him but…damn.
Taught me I’m whole by myself and that what felt like medicine was actually just poison. Codependency is a nightmare and no other human will ever define you. Find peace alone first if you can.
Realized that I need to stop putting someone else’s comfort above my own.
[removed]
That it is better to be single that being in relationship with person that gives you 2% of effort and kindness
32 comments
by the time I ended it, everything I had for that relationship was dead but leading up to that was the worst.
That relationship taught me what I didn’t want in a person, what kind of person I didn’t want to be when dating someone, and most of all, how amazing of a person I am and what I deserve.
Turned me from a sad burrito into a spite-fueled glow-up machine. So wrecked me for a moment, but I got ”abs”, learned to cook, and respect my self. 11/10 character development.
I became much more confident after my breakup, but also more sceptical. It was the push I needed to finally start doing things I didn’t have the courage to do before, like travelling solo, practising martial arts and getting my driver’s licence. I’m also in the best shape of my life.
It’s been two years and I am a completely different person, but I sometimes feel sad because I haven’t felt a connection as strong as the one I had with my ex and I’m afraid there’s no one else out there for me.
My first ever breakup happened when I was in highschool. First boyfriend, first in almost everything. I learn to be more compassionate as a person.
I learn who really I am and it pushes me to my limits. At the time of breakup, I do not know what to do so I started working lol. Now I am working for two years and studying as well.
I feel empty. Nothing matters. Every man I look at is not attractive and I don’t feel like having sex with anyone other than him.
This last break up was the final straw for me. I feel numb.
For context, the most painful breakup I’ve had was one that I initiated. He was great but we were from different backgrounds and we wanted different things in life, so I ended things. He showed me that I don’t have to beg for effort, communication or transparency, or to be treated well, and I’ll never settle for less than that again.
It gave me a panic disorder. Now I have panic attacks every single day and I wish I never met him
Left me suicidal, and feeling like I’ll never be good/attractive enough for a man. Severe trust issues. It’s been 3 years and I’m doing therapy. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop thinking about myself in a negative way now.
I think it wasn’t painful because the relationship was meaningful, it just ended at a time where everything was going wrong so it was just the catalyst for me losing my mind. It changed me. So much. I became very bad at existing for the lack of a better word, lost hope, started abusing substances, meaningless sex, lost my self worth. Took me a long time to get out of that headspace.
[removed]
[removed]
Realized that i could not compromise on my needs, got to meet a lot of new people, got out of my comfort zone much more, travelled solo, raved solo, got much more creative and open
It change me for YEARS! I became an absolute legend in breaking hearts purposefully. Meet the parents and then break up with them. I was an awful human being. I am so sorry to the boys I did that too. I was in a dark place and wanted to hurt as many of you as possible. It was NOT your faults it was me. I needed to grow up and mature.
I have no idea what love is anymore and don’t trust it at all
In the immediate aftermath I learned that words don’t matter, history doesn’t matter, family doesn’t matter. I will never be as open or vulnerable with another human being again if for no other reason I just don’t have the time left to establish that kind of bond with someone. (yay gray divorce). And while all that is still true I know understand that I am far smarter, far more resilient and far far more interesting as an individual than I ever was as part of ‘him’. I was never meant to be his cheerleader. I was meant to be mine. I only wish I had learned this decades ago.
Taught me a whole bunch of good lessons that I am less likely to repeat!
Made me realize how much I had let myself be disrespected in the name of being a “good partner”
i’d rather stay single forever than going through that shit ever again. It was hell.
I learned that the only Promises that matter are the ones you make to yourself, becuase you can’t rely on others promises. I’m at peace with my acceptance that all relationships break up and you just have to keep your integrity. I’m also accepting I will be fine if I’m “single” for the rest of my life.
Made me become more avoidant dismissive and slow to emotionally invest and commit.
It completely broke me. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I’m not sure its something I’ll ever get over. My life went from technicolour to black and white. I have no idea how to get past it.
I realized that I couldn’t heal someone with love and I can’t rely on someone else to protect me if I couldn’t even protect myself.
We loved each other very much, but his parents’ tumultuous divorce made him very unstable in relationships (an extreme FA if you know about attachment styles). I just recently blocked him after we were supposed to try again and he, once again, shut down from anxiety and stopped speaking to me. I’m already dealing with a lot, the last thing I need is a grown man who can’t/won’t communicate when there are plenty more that can and will.
A mutual friend told me that he can “see me” for the first time, that he sees a funny, loving and happy person who loves to dance and have a good time and not a almost invisible person I used to be with my ex.
It left me extremely insecure. He had cheated on me a bunch of times and then left me for an 18-year-old (we were in our mid/late 20s). He had also told me a reason every time he cheated. For example, they were prettier, smarter, more alike to him, more fun, not as uptight, etc. He just ended up not being a very good guy. 7 years and a lot of therapy later, I’ve finally found some of the confidence I had when I met him.
I got mad at the world. It’s not just one breakup, but all breakups I had altogether because each time I got into a new relationship, I was hopeful and always gave it my all thinking that it was gonna be different each time. I got so tired that I pushed everyone away cause I would rather be alone. Then this wonderful guy came into my life and little did I know, he’d heal me in so many ways that I didn’t know I needed. Of course I focused on myself too, spent a lot of time with my friends and at the gym so I didn’t really want to be in a relationship only to get hurt again. I pushed him away when I first met him too and for some reason, he kept showing up only because he was following his intuition saying I was actually a good person.
[removed]
Broke me. Haven’t been the same since.
Well all of my breakups were painful.
First breakup was my middle into high school boyfriend, who sexually assaulted me as he dumped me and left me traumatized.
Second breakup I’d been cheated on, and he didn’t even have the guts to face me or dump me so I had to end things even though I was so madly in love with him. Or as in love as you can be when you’re 16.
Third breakup was the most complicated. We entered adulthood together. Got our first apartment with some friends and really started living life as young adults. I thought he was the one, but then he changed. He felt into addiction and I stayed by his side for years thinking I could help him – I also didn’t want to break up our friend group by leaving him. But after 5 years I had checked out of the relationship. He just didn’t respect anything or anyone outside of his next party and his next fix. He was never not drunk or high or both. And I couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted us to both have steady jobs so we could get our own place and get married and have a family…he couldn’t hold a job because he was constantly fucked up, much less manage a household or children. I dumped him twice: after the first time he begged and cried that he would change that he couldn’t lose me that I was the best thing in his life and gave him another chance that only lasted around two weeks before I couldn’t do it and dumped him again. It was a dark time and I swore to just be single forever because I was done with dealing with men.
Luckily everything I went through was worth it because I found my husband and have a wonderful life with him but…damn.
Taught me I’m whole by myself and that what felt like medicine was actually just poison. Codependency is a nightmare and no other human will ever define you. Find peace alone first if you can.
Realized that I need to stop putting someone else’s comfort above my own.
[removed]
That it is better to be single that being in relationship with person that gives you 2% of effort and kindness