How do I find guys that actually want to date? Every guy I speak to turns conversation sexual really quick, I get being flirty and I'm good with flirting.
I just don't feel like guys want to date when they make conversation jump to being sexual within a couple days. I always ask what they're looking for and if they say FWB I say we don't want the same thing and end it, but then there's the guys that say relationship and within a day of talking they'll casually mention that they've woken up hard would I help out or they're so horny, do I want to see their dick. I honestly really hate it because it just feels like they either lied about what they want.
Am I right that those guys do just want sex or do relationships just move in a different way now and I've been accidentally getting rid of guys that might have actually gone somewhere?
25 comments
I don’t. I’m looking for a connection with someone. But I feel that people dont want to talk to me because they think I’m just going to send pictures of my dick.
I’m not like that, for one, I dont have the confidence for it. And two, you don’t send dick pics. End of. Not until youve got an established relationship or whatever.
But yeah, kinda feel your pain, from the other side of the fence.
I think the majority of guys just want sex, or at least it seems like that.
Where are you looking for them? Online dating usually focus on sexual relationships.
You can try and be very specific on what you are looking for and hopefully not waste anymore of your time.
Always stick to what you want and meaning you’re right
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It depends on how you mean jump to. Are they straight up asking for it or are they throwing the occasion dirty innuendo. The innuendo is just straight up flirting, but wanting to hook up that early is a red hairing for sure.
Where are you finding these guys anyway? If it’s on dating apps then you are fresh out of look 😂 dating apps are for anything but dating. The girls just want attention and the guys want sex.
As for the question – no, there are LOTS of men who want relationships, you just have to find them and one another thing – make the first move. Many men do not approach anymore, especially not the ones you’re looking for so that responsibility is largely on women now.
Go with your emotions. But dont hold out to long. No sex and he will lose interest fast.
Are you meeting most of these men on apps? I will not say “all” because there are many men who use apps as an easy way to pick up many women. The looking for “long term / casusl” (or similar combination ) is a way to cast a net wide AND gives the “out” of. “Well, I DO have casual on my profile.”
That’s a big sign you’re going to get a “pic” and they are going to get sexual sooner rather than later.
Try joining some clubs, or find a hobby you can do and meet people. (i.e. art, hiking, woodworking )
You will be able to get a feel for them in person. It’s easier to ID those that won’t work out, but it’s not foolproof.
It feels like only one guys out of 100 wants to something real,so unless you get really good at spotting the signs from their profiles you gonna have to go through a lot of ghosting or harassment :/
Date older and people with a track record of longer relationships.
Yeah, pretty much sounds as if they’re saying they like something to try and win your favour so they can get into bed with you.
There’s no courting anymore it seems…
Where are you meeting this guys? Just mention it earlier / on your profile what are you looking for?
This is the classic recruiting problem.
If nobody wants to date them they stay on the apps. If they are actually decent then someone will snap them up and the next person won’t see them on there.
The end result is that maybe 95% of people are undateable and so you have to avoid that to find the 5% of decent folk.
Eventually the undateable folk sort themselves out. But that’s not yours to solve. Just need to find the proverbial diamond in the rough.
(Frankly yes, this means there’s something you need to fix if you’re on dating apps a long time)
I don’t engage. If they start speaking that way on the app I don’t respond. I don’t unmatch either I’ll just let them sit there and talk into the void. And keep swiping until I find someone who isn’t a loser. Anyone saying that about their dick is just looking for something to stick it in. Don’t engage
You don’t look for guys who wanna date. Dating should be reserved for people you already know and want to know better, more intimately and on a deeper level. Dating is not, should not be the try and get to know a person. Instead go do things you love and are passionate about and find people in those same circles and meet them organically. Choose your partner based upon the observed actions, not words, they ascribe to. Sincerely the world’s least successful bachelor.
I want to get married, thats what i want, but like u said, guys turn it sexual, it doesn’t always mean they js want to play u, but most times they do js want to play u
Its hard to find someone these days who isnt a scammer thats what i find 🤣
Wow, here I am thinking how do I find a gal who actually wants to date irrespective of my situation. All I get is bots or scammmers online. Now this could be because of my age … 45 male. However I just don’t find any genuine profiles online (referring to India Bangalore)
I am a guy aged 50 who actually has never had sex. I am not ashamed to admit it and tbh i have no desire to have sex. I am not against sex, but i have my reasonswhich are personal to me and not to be discussed here. I am single and its hard for me to meet a woman as i just want companionship and conversation. I am not saying i dont have needs of course i do,but its not all about sex and i dont see women as sex objects.
Date me; i’m definitely not the guy you are getting frustrated over. hahah
Just look for us autistic men we want relationships and don’t ask about sex or nudes or any of that stuff and we often wait for the partner to make that move or decision first… granted we’re kinda scared of physical touch but we also care more about emotional connection or sexual gratification.
if you lower your standards a lot you’ll find guys easy who will cuddle you up all day, stay in constant contact with you saying all the right things. want to learn all about you. but date the ones you really crave & yes, they know that about themselves are ready for sex bc they can always get it. life isn’t pretty.
how many times have we seen a man talking about how much he wants to be loved with cuddles & reassurance. wanting some romantic fairytale story like we do.
Praying.
um, i guess you’re stuck in the dating group of men? not all men are like this..
i look forward to a relationship where both sides respect each other’s position. men like me are to love my queen with respect and care.
while my queen loves me the same.. if it goes to sex then it’s a bonus for us.. not asked for, not pushed for..
we have very good and insightful conversations without even mentioning about sex. sex should be meaningful.. not to fulfill the hunger of the opposite sex’s lust.
Women do understand that having sex and being in relationship is a venn diagram, right?
I 30M UK am probably an anomaly, however I would prefer to date and make a connection. Actually spend time and get to know the other person before any mention of sex exists. I have actually turned people down in the past when the first thing they have asked is something sexual, or tried to send sexual photos.