My marriage has been rocky since last fall but there’s been minor issues popping up prior. However, since finding out I was pregnant last year there’s been a dramatic change in his behaviors. Throughout this entire pregnancy I never got a break I never felt like I had a chance to rest. I still got the kids up and ready for school packed lunches. Went to doctor appointments alone. Worked a full time job and still come home to cook and clean.
Now although I would ask for help or tell him I’m having hard time in the mornings he never helped. In fact he constantly talked and complained about his job. He would work OT on weekends even after asking for a break just so I could rest. Now this is where the moodiness comes in. Whenever he’s home it’s like he’s having a bad day and always in a bad mood. Anything with the kids is an inconvenience and he’s automatically in a bad mood. He would slam doors and curse the kids out. It got the the point where I would leave and take the kids to do something just to avoid him. He never wanted to hang out with us and do any family activities. Nothing.
Fast forward two weeks ago as I’m scheduled to give birth. My mother came in town to visit and help and he avoided any contact or conversation with her. There has never been tension between them in fact she constantly complimented him. So on the day I give birth via cesarean. I had an allergic reaction to the anesthesia had a panic attack and started vomiting. They gave me something and put me to sleep and missed RJ delivery of our baby. I only came to after I heard her cry in which I was told there were complications getting her out and I had to be cut more and a vacuum was used. Then was told it took her a minute to come to but was fine. He was there in the room and saw everything. I’m just thankful we’re alive. That was on a Monday. But Saturday I was readmitted and diagnosed with preeclampsia. My mother stayed at the hospital with me to help with the baby. Stayed over night by the following afternoon my BP was much better and was preparing to discharge later that evening. My mother couldn’t stay, so I asked my husband if he could take the baby along with our 3 year old home so I could get some sleep. He agreed but his attitude became very negative. Via text I would check on them and could tell he was in a bad mood. He finally sends a text explaining our toddler fell and busted his lip on his toy. His next text was word for word
“ I’m done. I just don’t care anymore. I see why my father stayed on the road.”
I felt like that was a horrible thing to say. And instantly my BP started going back up. To the point they want me to stay another night bi basically left AMA just so I could take care of my kids.
He swear he didn’t say anything wrong and refuses to apologize. This isn’t the first time he’s said something crazy to me and refused to apologize even after expressing how I felt. In the final weeks of my pregnancy and threatened to go off on the daycare workers because they say hello to him when he walks in.
At this point I decided to leave I’m not feeling any love or respect in this marriage and I don’t want my kids seeing this is ok to treat people.
I just want to know if I’m overreacting? Maybe I’m still hormonal. Idk. Just looking for some advice and perspective. (Please excuse grammar and spelling.)