TL/DR : I feel like I am the only one paying and preparing for our child to come. My husband is not contributing anything except for taking away some of the debt that I owe him.
I’m so emotional and idk if it’s just the pregnancy hormones or if I am justified. My husband I have been married for 2 years together for 7. We are welcoming our first child in December. We have always had split finances and pay 50/50 on mostly everything. I make more than him so I pay for some extras (tv service, cleaning service) because I want them. I work for myself so when the baby comes I will have to take time off with no maternity leave/ short term disability. I also know how important it is for me to spend time with the baby/ heal after birth and want to plan for 4 months off. Since we found out at end of march I have been putting money away to cover the bills we split, and also my own bills, such as some ongoing business expenses in car payment/health insurance.
About a month and a half ago I told him that I think that he should be contributing as well since I am taking that time off not for fun, but because that is important for our baby in our family. He said he would contribute to the account I am putting the maternity leave money into. But he has not. We had to cancel a trip that was planned for the end of the year because I will be too pregnant at the time and we had settled the cost of it prior to knowing we were pregnant so I ended up owing him about $2000 by canceling the trip (I was paying in payments. He had already paid equal amount for other things prior so I did not just get the money refunded when I canceled) So instead of adding money to the account, he has been taking off the money from what I owe him in increments that he sees fit.
I feel that I can pay him back anytime and that we have a time limit on the baby coming and need to be prepare for that. I do already have enough to cover in my personal savings however I don’t feel like I should drain my own savings by making a sacrifice for our family. I’ve tried to talk to my him multiple times and he hasn’t seen anything wrong with this arrangement. I feel like I’m paying for everything on my own. Not only am I paying for maternity leave but I am also paying for all the baby items as well as planning and decorating everything myself.
Edit**** I forgot to add – I found out today he is giving money to his church for offering and that’s why I got mad. I thought he didn’t have extra but clearly that’s not the case if you’re giving to the church.
Am I being unreasonable?