I want to start this by saying that I love my husband dearly. At heart, he is an amazing person. We have been together for 12 years, married almost 11.
Maybe I am overreacting or being selfish but I can't stand our marriage anymore. It no longer fulfills me. I'm no longer happy.
He displays zero leadership/head of household qualities. I've had to deal with his constant job losses (he blames everyone but himself), which would abruptly disrupt our finances. I stayed home to care for the kids and go to college but I made sure the house was in order, kids were cared for, budgets were made, bills got paid, household business/affairs were in order. He literally made a paycheck. No house maintenance, barely caring for the kids, etc. It didn't bother me much because when he did work, he worked hard. After my husband's most recent job loss, I went back to work because I felt it was unfair to the family to have to keep dealing with financial uncertainty. I did become bitter because I was looking to ease myself back to work since it had been over a decade. Instead, I was thrown back into the workforce. 2 years later, I am still the sole financial provider of the house and I feel like my husband feels comfortable knowing he doesn't have that responsibility. Now that roles are kind of reversed with my husband and I, I have to encourage him and show him how to handle certain household responsibilities during my work hours. Literally spell everything out. I feel like I'm raising an extra child. I begged him to go to therapy, which he finally did. We haven't had sex in like a year. I used to be so frustrated but now I am actually turned off by him, so I don't care to have sex. He watches pornography from time to time, so good for him. Spends ungodly amount of time on his phone and in the bathroom. No goals, no prospects, no leadership, barely functioning marriage. I love him so much but some days I feel like he drags our family down. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel trapped because I love him.