I wish I hadn’t deleted my posts but basically I’ve been exploring what vibe I put out that makes men not approach me. I’m 37F, conventionally attractive and outgoing. Before you ask, I do approach dudes but I’m wishing sometimes it went the other way. This has been a theme for me my whole dating life.
So I’ve been really interested in some conversations here and in r/bodylanguage about how to signal that you’re approachable, and what might I be doing that causes me to get zero attention from men. I do well on apps, but in person I’ve been approached in earnest less than 5 times, I’d guess.
Lately I’ve settled on I’m just not the kind of “hot” that draws guys in, even though I’m attractive and confident in my appearance; I just seem to be missing some “it” factor.
But here’s the thing; in the past year I’ve been absolute cat nip for women. Both platonically and romantically/sexually, I’m approached and complimented by women constantly. Sometimes it’s smoking hot young women, like couldn’t be more than 21, too young for me, but I’m so fascinated by the thought that these cool ass women are into me enough to approach and flirt, but men will NOT.
Basically I’m posting now just to ask your thoughts and input. Do other women experience this? I feel great about myself, genuinely, but I’m struggling to ascertain how I’m seen by other people when I get this kind of mixed attention. Do women look for different things in women then men do? What factors make a difference?
Thanks in advance for your time and input!