Hey Reddit,
I’m in a bit of a tough spot and could really use some outside perspectives. I’m an active duty service member, married with two kids, and lately, I’ve been feeling increasingly disconnected from my wife.
She works during the day, and while I understand that life gets busy, it feels like she barely spends quality time with our kids. They often come home from school, and I’m the one playing with them, watching movies, and putting our one-year-old to bed every night. After that, my wife usually just goes to bed right away, and we end up not talking or connecting at all.
It feels like we’ve been in a rut for months now. We’ve gone four months without any intimacy, and it often feels like I have to initiate everything, which can be really frustrating. Our evenings together are almost nonexistent; she’s usually busy doing laundry (which seems excessive for our family size) or working on her online classes. When she’s not doing that, she’s on her phone, either reading or writing stories.
To add to it, meals have become a challenge. We end up eating out most nights, or I’m making instant noodles for myself. When she does cook, it’s often pasta, which I don’t eat, so that doesn’t help either.
I’ve tried to suggest spending time together, watching movies, or even running errands just to hang out, but she often falls asleep or is glued to her phone. I can’t help but feel neglected and overwhelmed.
Am I overreacting? Is this marriage worth fighting for? I’d really appreciate any advice or insights you all might have.
Thanks for reading.