My husband (32M) and I (31F) are going through a rough patch after being together for 6 years. I feel like we have issues from childhood and we brought it to the relationship and it started wearing us down. We thought we would be each other's support system but it got overwhelmed at some point.
My husband never really is the type to complain or speak up. So with a lot of little things I do and say that bother him, he bottled them up and never addressed it. Even when I ask him if he's doing okay, he'd always tell me he is even if he's not. But deep down, he felt unloved and unwanted.
And I, on the other hand, experienced a lot of lying and hiding from him. Not to give him excuses, but a lot of that came from desperation, self-esteem issues and his alcoholism. He's working on it, but it's quite frustrating to see. While I can understand why he did what he did, it still made me feel like i can't trust him. There's always that doubt of "what else is he hiding right now" at the back of my head. I always feel like I need to be ready to shut my feelings off, which of course pushes us further away.
While I feel like a lot of problems can be fixed and improved and I can see HOW they can be fixed, I don't know if we can still put in the work to do it or we're just so fed up with our relationship. We both feel torn because we love each other and we've always envisioned us living life and growing old together. But I'm not so sure the the damage we've done to each other can be mended and trust can be rebuilt.
So my question is: How do you know if your relationship is worth working on? And if you did choose to stay, how is it now for you?
I'd love to hear from anyone with similar problems.