Before anything; I believe this is all just a lack of understanding in a way and maybe just some financial anxiety, and he has never, EVER, not once been mean or controlling, or anything as such about finances or really anything. We’ve had a wonderful marriage and we’re pretty good at resolving things and communicating as best we can.
We are fairly comfortable financially, even with the still rising prices we manage ok. Bills are never unpaid and we enjoy life with limits. But I’ve noticed a pattern lately of frustration on his end about grocery shopping totals. Then I get frustrated more just because I feel bad and then guilt trip myself. I meal plan, and I do my best to take it seriously. I’m a stay at home mom to a toddler and a baby on the way. The meal planning I do is by week and I try to stick to fairly cheaper meals. Even have a weekly meal calendar on the fridge that I do fill out and stick too. Mostly I do cook something everyday, I do enjoy cooking.
Almost everything I get is great value, I am 100% the kind of person that will find the cheapest thing of chicken breasts they have at the time. I shop once a week, I’m kinda trying a new thing out. I used to go make one really big trip at the first of the month when he gets his VA pay, but that just got to be too much to handle with a toddler and now I’m also in a high risk pregnancy. So some weeks it’s really cheap and we only need a few things, so maybe $50ish, maybe less. Other weeks it’s $150 or more.
This last Friday I went and it was $200. I did not go the previous week so I considered this trip kinda the “big one”. We should be good on most everything for another week and a half ish.
But he just got back from being out of town for the weekend and he almost immediately expressed that he was frustrated and upset with how much money he had left after everything. So then I felt awful cause I was like damn I should’ve tried harder at Walmart.
I just don’t know what else I can possibly do to try harder. I’ve tried everything I can think of. I hardly ever get anything for myself and when I do it’s cheap shit mostly. I’m not a high maintenance girly so I’m not going out and buying makeup and hair stuff and clothes and etc. I do like my acrylic nails but I get them off Amazon for super cheap. I did get myself some for like $6 that will last me all of fall and a robe for the birth of the new baby in January. And again he’s never explicitly said I can’t or anything like that, I just feel bad whenever he expressing this stuff.
I really don’t know what else I can possibly do to make him feel better about this. This is no hate against him or anything, but I feel like it’s become more of a pattern after he bought a super expensive car from a friend. I was definitely kinda mehhhhh about that one but he’s a super big car guy, so it be what it be. As long as we can still make bills and stuff, I don’t tell him what he can and can’t do with the money he’s earned.