i’m 20F, and i’ve been struggling a lot with making eye contact since i was 11 years old. i didn’t have any issues with eye contact before that, one day my mind just went blank and i forgot how to make eye contact properly, why you do it, for how long you’re supposed to keep it. so for many years i made zero eye contact with other people, i still don’t know why it happened but i think it has to do with mental illness because i got depression when i was 11 and has been severely depressed in periods since then.
i’m doing better now, and i’m trying to relearn eye contact because i feel like this is keeping me from truly connecting with others and i’m scared that people think i’m not listening to them or that i don’t care about what they’re saying. i’ve tried to practice eye contact a lot the past months but it’s so difficult. when i make eye contact with for someone i look them in the eye and then look away, i don’t know for how long you’re supposed to keep it. when i try to keep it for a longer time the other person seems to notice that it’s making me anxious. when i accidentally make eye contact with a stranger it brings me a wave of anxiety and guilt. i’m also worrying i make too intense eye contact. someone told me to look at people’s foreheads instead of the eyes if it’s difficult, but my sister told me it looks weird. i don’t really know what to do, i feel like im trying to understand a new language or something. any tips or thoughts would be very appreciated