I met someone at a professional event. When exchanging contacts, I suggested LinkedIn, but he steered to WhatsApp. Later, I messaged him about something professional, and he quickly proposed meeting in person to discuss. At that meeting, after a few minutes of small talk, he shifted to very personal topics, sharing details about his dating and sexual life. On a walk afterwards, he sat close to me on a bench. I told him I sensed he wanted to kiss me, but that I didn’t want to engage that way, even though I was attracted to him. He persisted until we eventually kissed, and we ended up at his place and had sex.
We met a few more times. During those encounters, he told me I was “special,” had “great potential,” that we “obviously had something going on,” and that it “didn’t feel casual.” I went traveling for two weeks thinking we had a deeper connection. But when I returned, he told me that he wanted to be open with me and that just in the past week he had slept with five different women — without protection — and described them in detail (absolutely unselective “roster"). He admitted he hadn’t even wanted to kiss me initially that night because he felt “dirty,” then asked if telling me that “killed the magic". He said in an ideal world he'd like to keep doing this AND keep seeing me, but with limits such as seeing each other once a week, as he's not looking to fall in love. He emphasized wanting to stay connected either way because he believes in my “potential” and thinks I’ll become powerful in our shared circles.
I had opened myself to dating someone younger, hoping for genuine pursuit and respect — not exclusivity right away, but at least… I told him I couldn’t be part of that dynamic, said I’d get a check-up, and acknowledged that maybe this “exploration” is his way of processing a recent breakup after a 5+ year relationship where he was cheated on.
A few days later, he sent me his own STI test results in a message that felt cold and impersonal, almost like a template (maybe he sent to other woman)
Now I’m left wondering: is it fair for me to feel sad about this? Were my emotions blinding me to reality? Was our connection anything more than casual to him or was I a sex toy just as the other plenty women / girls?