How to make my tone of voice more palatable?

For context – diagnosed ADHD for 15 years, probable comorbid Autism. Used to work in my country’s sign language with Deaf adults, who are notoriously direct and blunt. The combo has made me a very direct, straightforward, but kind person.

I have noticed my entire life that I will say something I think is positive or neutral, but the response is what I’d expect to hear if I said something rude or aggressive. There’s a mismatch. People sometimes hop on the defense when I’m just speaking normally. I put so much effort into choosing my words to communicate exactly what I mean, as well as being intentional about having good faith, benefit of the doubt, compassion, building people up instead of tearing them down, etc.

I cant hear how my tone must be offputting to people. To me, my voice sounds normal. What do people respond/react to? I have heard this is a common struggle among neurodivergent people (who I have more ease communicating with, but not always).