About two years ago I met a guy on a dating app. We clicked pretty fast, had a lot in common (gaming, anime, etc.), and I thought we might end up dating (his friends asked me if I would date him, and we had had like 7-9 dates). But after a while, I realized some big incompatibilities — he wanted 3 kids before 32, a housewife, etc. I told him we should talk about those differences, but he immediately shut it down. He said he doesn’t change his mind, and if he thinks it won’t work, then it never will. I could tell some narcissist trails.
On top of that, he wasn’t treating me very well (I always had to drive to him, he kicked me out early in the morning so he could play games, etc.). This matter stuck in my mind for months after he refused to even talk things through, especially since he was the first guy in years I’d felt strongly attracted to. I even tried reaching out later, but he completely dismissed me.
Eventually, I let it go. Then, about 6 months later, I ran into him at an anime convention. We had a short, casual 10-minute chat, nothing more.
Now, out of nowhere, he’s texted me saying he’ll be near my city and asking if I want to grab drinks and catch up. The thing is:
• He has a girlfriend now.
• I don’t have feelings for him anymore, but it feels strange.
• Part of me suspects he just wants to brag about how great his life/girlfriend/job is (he used to talk a lot about how he’d be making tons of money and have the perfect future).
• Honestly, I think he’s a bit narcissistic.
So… should I meet up with him? On one hand, I don’t really see the point. On the other hand, I don’t want to overthink it if it’s just a casual chat.
4 comments
You’ve listed way more negatives about him than positives. I think you know the answer.
Dude sounds like an ass and either just wants to brag or wants to cheat. Neither are good. Your question of “what’s the point?” feels like the correct instinct here.
Why is that even a question? Makes zero sense .
frankly a piece of advice, if the first previous times you already had doubts, it’s useless, especially if he treated you badly, yes you have to have desires in life and often the other partner has different ones and that’s where we see if we can build an agreement between the two, if it doesn’t work well too bad, if there’s only physical attraction, it’s only a fling, a good relationship is a balance there doesn’t seem to be one