American here and our friend finished last in our fantasy football league this past year. The punishment for loser is we send you to an extra sh**y city to have a beer and then travel home. He moved to London this summer so I want to put him on a train or short flight to somewhere miserable.

Appreciate your insight!

Edit: Y'all rock this list is awesome. Jaywick or a long bus ride north feel like they could be winners. We definitely want it to be as grueling as possible so Luton feels a little close to home. Consulting with the league and will keep this thread updated on his journey!


26 comments
  1. I’m sure there are a few delightful flat-roofed pubs in Luton that would… welcome… his custom.

  2. I’d say it’d be a much better shout to stick him on the longest coach journey you can find and only give him enough time to get to a pub and have one pint before having to head back for the return journey.

  3. Harlow is pretty fucking awful. Stoke-on-Trent and King’s Lynn are two of my least favourite places in Britain, but require a bit more commitment to the cause. If you’re really looking for abject misery, try Northwich* or Dalkeith or Oldham.

    *not Norwich, Norwich is surprisingly nice.

  4. Depends how close it has to be?

    I would have said Great Yarmouth, it’s grim AF there and only about 2-3 hours on train- so he can definitely day trip it

    Bonus points if it’s during winter

  5. Aldershot. You get your hopes up going through Farnborough and then discover a town that was nice around 100 years ago.

  6. Train to Shippea Hill (near Ely). One train each way a day (arrival at 0726, so a stupidly early start), and the nearest pub is 6 miles away in Lakenheath, across some of the most boring countryside in the country.

  7. Are there conditions applied? Like going into a West Ham pub with a Millwall shirt on?

  8. Merthyr Tydfil. Not only is it an arse to get to on public transport it’s also not a good place for Londoner to pop for a pint.

  9. Oh look, it’s askUKs daily classist sneer thread!

    Council estate boozers are a much better time than any country pub filled with gilet wearing toffs paying £8 for a pint of IPA that tastes like dishwasher tablets.

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