How the fuck am I supposed to get better at socializing when I have nothing to talk about, for one (I have so much trauma that I'd rather stay quiet now.) Anytime I try to talk to people it's always the typical work shit (hey, whats up, etc) which leads to nothing. Approaching people at work after being there for months would be too awkward, especially in the break room. Can't just go up to people after being the quiet awkward dude who says next to nothing.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I try, it leads to nothing, and I just return to my shell. I've been told to work on fixing myself before worrying about a relationship, in which case why even bother. It would take YEARS to even get a sliver of anything fixed, if ever. So that would mean a relationship would never be in my cards. I'm completely fking alone as is. All my family, except my 2 siblings and their kids, have died in the passed 5 years. And we're not the closest of siblings. People have recommended books but reading is not my thing. I'd rather get actual advice.