I’ve seem to be developing a lot of anxiety lately. My wife thinks it’s because I don’t really process things. There has been a lot going on in the past few years. I’ve done therapy in the past and am going to start back with it. It just sucks because my insurance is terrible and I’ll essentially be paying out of pocket. Has anyone else developed anxiety in their mid to upper 30’s? How did you overcome it?
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By accepting the fact that once I turn 40 I won’t ever be able to relate to or be friends with anyone else unless they’re also 40 or older, very painful to feel but slowly accepting the cold hard truth of being an older adult this October
Had my first panic attack at 38. Been on a mental health journey ever since. I actually consider it a blessing in disguise as it got me into therapy and made me realize so many things about myself
Check your sleep for amount and apnea
Check your blood pressure and cholesterol
Heck a physical with blood work if you haven’t in a while, any or all of those can impact your anxiety.
Hey man. Sorry to hear you’re going through this. I’m in my mid-30s and have had my anxiety dialed up since Covid lockdown. I could write a chapter here about all of the ups and downs, but I’ve fixed my sights on my digestion as a (main) source of my daily anxiety (I’ve also been someone who worries and am prone to “working myself up” mentally). Long story short: I take magnesium biglycinate and GABA to promote relaxation, and stay away from garlic (suspected intolerance). I find when my digestion is off, my entire nervous system is in overdrive (very likely improper vagus nerve tone).
I’m also currently doing CBT-based therapy to help recondition my automatic thoughts when I get stressed.
Do you have a known source of stress or anxiety? What are your mental preoccupations? Triggers?
Need to start working out
Best way I heard anxiety described was to think of it as drops in a bucket. When you do things (or don’t do things) that contribute to your anxiety its more drops in your bucket. Over time that bucket fills up. The fuller it gets the worse your anxiety gets. Once your bucket is totally full, well, you’ve got a disorder to deal with.
The only way I was able to effectively manage my anxiety as an adult was to identify what was causing the drops and address them directly, no matter how uncomfortable it was. And it worked, but it took time.
Same here dude. I stopped drinking 8 months ago and somehow my anxiety got WORSE this past year. How is that possible???
I realised in my late 30’s that I’d had low level anxiety most of my life. It took a while to realise that the physical symptoms (shortness of breath, restlessness etc) were all anxiety symptoms that I was mistaking for physical issues. I still have them, but know that’s what it is helps.
As for overcoming it? I didn’t, but I’ve learned to live with it.
Important tip: anxiety releases adrenaline into your system, you’ll feel panicky while it’s there. But there’s a trick to burning off adrenaline, exercise. If I get the adrenaline rush I go for a jog or do something strenuous, press ups, sit-ups, whatever, until it’s used up. It takes time for your body to make more so you physically can’t have another panic attack in the meantime even if your mind is racing.
Yes. I find I’m not as anxious when I’m doing lots of running.
I had a panic attack at 36 and then 2 more at 37.
No real anxiety other than a sudden onset of panic out of no where.
I got medical lab work done and it came back flawless and I’ve been good since.
I drink less, sleep more, exercise more, and eat better
Habits from your 20s can come back to bite you in your 30s.
I am 37 and just had my first panic attack a few months ago, from seemingly “nothing”. Like I’ve seen some others say, an accumulation of enough stress/regular anxiety and that can lead to some pretty debilitating conditions. I started medication, which has helped enough for me to resume life. The way I choose to look at my scenario is that it was a wakeup call for me to just be more aware of my health in general. It was a pretty rough couple months of doctor’s appointments/searching for answers and trying to balance normal life while feeling like I was haunted. But I got through the worst of it and you just have to remind yourself that it’s not permanent and it takes genuine work to manage.
Yes. It is a hard time in life for many. Don’t get convinced to try pharmaceuticals. Exercise and diet are the most effective treatments. I am on the fence about therapy. I am mostly convinced that it is just a tax you pay when you finally try to improve your outlook and you pay it as you sort yourself out.
Go get your hormones levels tested. Low testosterone levels mimic anxiety symptoms
You don’t have to think about therapy as a long-term expense. Even doing it for a few weeks or months at a time can get you back on the right course and is well worth the expense.
Also make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Dudes in their 30s+ can get fixated on helping others like their spouse and families and forget about themselves. I.e…. How’s your diet and fitness routine? Are you giving yourself breaks from work and family obligations? Engaging in hobbies that help take your mind off things? Going on dates or overnight getaways with your wife? Hanging with friends? All those things you likely did in your 20s to relieve stress may not be a current part of your life.
Panic attacks sky rocketed around 28. Mindfulness helps, reducing caffeine helps too but I’m not very good at that one lol
Any practice that brings you peace and presence. Read “Please Explain “Anxiety” to Me! Simple Biology and Solutions for Children and Parents”. It’s a kids book but is great.
For me it was the whole childhood trauma / bad habits from childhood that finally caught up to me. I had tons of insecurity, and a lack of self love. When I was younger I chased external validation to fill the void, from women or from partying or from passion/intensity. I eventually broke and found that nothing external can fill that void, it just temporarily fills it but also makes it grow and fester.
What helped me was first understanding what was going on with me. Then processing a lot of that pain, through meditation and allowing/accepting the pain that had always been inside of me. Instead of distracting myself with women, or porn, or phone scrolling etc I’d sit with that ache in me and allow it.
This anxiety is your body finally having enough, and is a signal that you need to go inwards. Your path will be different then mine, but it’s probably a mid life crisis. It’s an opportunity to finally face what’s going on. It’ll be messy, but keep searching and trying new things and you’ll get there.
Whatever you do, don’t expect something external to fix it. Your answer isn’t with a new relationship, or new friends, or moving, or a new job. It’s in you.
Get your Test checked!
Yeah, except later I think. Early 40s. Anxiety and weapons-grade imposter syndrome related to work.
I had some therapy, and was on meds for a while. Both helped a huge amount. I’m off both, once anxiety dropped to controllable levels.
I’m almost 50 now, I still have anxiety, but I accept and ignore it. It’s my little travelling companion. Some days he wins, and I just wait out the day and hope tomorrow will be better. My anxiety is not me, it’s separate from me.
I changed jobs/roles a couple of times, which also helped a lot.
Good luck Brother.
1) nutrition – check vitamin d, hormones, minerals
2) exercise – 20-30 minutes daily vigorous exercise in the morning before beeakfast
3) spirituality – daily prayer rule, meditation, etc
4) “instant self-hypnosis” and “more instant self-hypnosis” books