Some context, I graduated school some 3 years ago, and I really didn't see this coming. I was raised in a family of 5 girls and me as the only boy. Mom passed some years back and dad wasn't around much, so I was technically the head of the family from a very young age. Everyone had a huge expectation from me, especially my sisters and I did too. But upon graduation, I left home moved to another town to look for work but never got lucky to get a good job, just one to live on from hand to mouth. I didn't know to admit I was struggling to feed myself then and get help or guidance (I never had a father figure I could talk to and mostly relied on my owm counsel) but always ensured when anything was asked of me, I made sure to provide even if it meant going into debt for my sisters, and now I feel I'm old enough past excuses, but the issue is I have lied to my sisters that I'm good where I am and have been dodging inviting them over because they'll see the reality, which is I'm lost and stuck, no job, overdue in rent for like 3 months and no hope. I don't know if it gets better, if I can get a second chance at life. I need some serious manly advice and that's why I'm here with this, ave been avoiding people I grew up with and my family because I'm ashamed of myself and the stark difference between my peers and me. I have been learning some coding for some months now but that has been inconsistent because I have to think and find for food,rent etc so I can't buy time to learn without distractions, what can I do? I feel like if I get this year wrong I might harm myself.Please talk to me.