TLDR: I work in healthcare on the backend/office side. I switched jobs while on parental leave. New job has had almost no training, limited communication, no guidance or set list of expectations, and when I'm told my orientation is now over, my boss berates me in her office ahead of my first weekend alone and makes me feel like an idiot. Which maybe I am but from my perspective, I have been set up to fail and gaslit when I ask for help about how I'm not asking for help. I don't know what do to but I have to provide for my family. My question is moreso- have you ever had a similar experience and how did you deal with it?
I want to include the important details without making it obvious so if it something doesn't make sense, I can try to clarify it to the kind souls that interact.
I'm a new dad as of 4 months ago. It's been extremely hard but I'm learning every day and I have fallen even more in love with my wife and grown to appreciate so much more about the small parts of life I took for granted. When I was on leave right after birth, I was at a high stress office job that is healthcare adjacent. It took a lot out of me sometimes and on a suggestion, I looked into another position that is identical for a different facility but had a WFM option. I was surprised that they wanted me right off the bat figuring I would have to balance a series of interviews while heading back to work and managing newborn stuff. I jumped at the offer and quit my other job (not in a dramatic or bad way, I just resigned and told them I wouldn't be coming back from leave). That was my first mistake.
I should have known based on a few things that something wasn't exactly right. They called me for a second interview initially but it was actually a repeated first interview they just didn't realize I was the same person. After hiring until an hour before my first day, I had no communication other than a teams meeting that was a generic "welcome to (facility)" and a link to general onboarding paperwork. I wasn't told where I was even suppose to go and had to call the recruiter to find out. My "boss" texted me loose instructions and I finally met her.
My first "day" went like this: discuss what I did at my previous job and how my skills would transfer. She asked if I did my "onboarding" which I had online. They had no record it being completed so I didn't have clearance to go any further. She "worked" on that for three days while my training started as basically watching a coworker do the job without any guidance or instruction. They got me "access" which meant I could log in to clock in but I still didn't have any access to the programs I would need to use or phone logins so I had to use my coworker's stuff whenever I tried something. This continued for two weeks with almost no communication until I had to start bothering them every day. I didn't even know what shifts I was scheduled for until I ASKED about it. I finished on a Friday with no idea if I had to orient that weekend or not. I sent a message and didn't get a work back until Tuesday at which point I was asked if I could come in and they'd get me a schedule that day. Well that didn't happen after I did go in because we need money and I am trying to make it work.
Things continue like this until literally yesterday when out the blue my supervisor/manager (it literally isn't clear which one she is because there's technically two people in charge) says she's gonna shadow me because this upcoming holiday weekend is my first weekend alone on a shift. Meaning my orientation is done according to them. Keep in mind, I've barely had my hands on the work because of all these issues and informal training where even my coworkers aren't sure what's going on. During this "shadowing" my boss was gone for about a third of it on a break to get food and then spending almost all of the time talking to the person who I was supposed to orient with that night while I am drowning.
Halfway through, I went to my coworker and asked for help because I couldn't do it and he just said okay focus on this stuff the rest doesn't really matter. Well, it turns out it did matter because at the end of shift, everybody is all surprised that some stuff didn't get done (I literally ran out of time because I can only make phone calls so fast) and so she's berating me in front of others asking why I didn't ask for help and going over mistakes while I'm still trying to wrap up work. She storms out to her office for a bit then comes back and tells me to come with her.
What happens for thirty minutes here is me being chastised and made to feel like an idiot for not being able to do all of this work alone and how can she feel safe with me working alone this weekend. I say quite directly that I also don't feel comfortable and it's because my training has been incomplete and I need more support. She says well, this was actually an EASY night and it's gonna be so much worse and puts it on my by stating, what do you need from me?
I said I need more training. I don't know what I don't know. The only reason I'm able to do my job even partially is because I did a similar job elsewhere but they had actual structured support systems and chains of command that made it possible. It wasn't just one dude in a room being responsible for half of a hospital's staff. The staff you have has worked here forever and don't know how to train someone. 90% of the staff is remote as well so I have no connection to my boss (who I've met maybe three times) or coworkers except that two casuals that I shadowed on site.
I left work feeling about as bad as I ever have. I was talked to in a way that outside of a professional environment, I would never accept. But I have to work. I don't know what to do and I don't even know what I'm asking other than for help or reassurance that others have had awful experiences like this.