(Throwaway for obvious reasons)
To preface this, I have been with her for 2,5 years, living together for 1.
Things between us are pretty good for the most part, a bit strained for while now though due to other factors but I didnt think it was this bad.
Recently, a few days, ago my GF said to me while we're laying in bed that "she wants a threesome with another woman" cause she really wants to "have fun with a woman again" (shes bi and has done stuff in the past before me).
Normally, a guy would be ecstatic cause they would get a once in a lifetime opportunity but she said some things that kinda made me doubt her true intentions and if I really want to go along with it.
I asked her what a threesome would entail, as a hypothetical, and she listed her female preference (no one over 40 and not prettier than her and no sleeping over) and a few 'rules' for said scenario.
For example, id be allowed to do anything but kiss the woman and go down on her. Which kind of are my two favorite parts of sex. I get why, she might be afraid of the emotional aspect but she herself would be allowed to do it. Am I being unreasonable for finding that a bit unfair/sketchy?
And then she said the other thing, which made me really doubt everything and also immediatly not want to be onboard one bit:
"I'll have sex with a woman in my lifetime, one way or another"
So I asked her straight up "You would cheat on me?" and she said "No, of course not. I'd tell you before I did it". Well.. thanks for the headsup ig. That's still cheating in my eyes though.
So at this point I feel trapped. Either I have a threesome I don't really feel 100% about (i've never really had that fantasy tbh, id much rather do many other things) or I dont have it and wait for her to cheat on me. Its not that the thought doesent turn me on, but I also have other thoughts that also turn me on that'd id never truly want to do. Fantasies exist for a reason.
I mean, what the fuck do I do? Even if we have this threesome and im in and its all fair, I dont think our relationship would be the same after that. She also seemed to think it would be the key to solving our issues, which I do not think.
I just ended up saying to her "Look, ill think about it, do some research and just take it slow. Lets not do anything hastily" and then went to sleep.
But it feels like a lose/lose no matter what I do. Wondering if I should just end things now so she can be free to do what she wants and I dont have to be trapped?
TL;DR: GF said she wants to have a threesome but I dont really want to deep down, especially after she said "i'll have sex with a woman, one way or another".
Edit: Thanks for all the responses people. I think I just needed some outside perspective. I'm going to have a talk with her soon and I'll update you guys whenever I have developments.
Also, incase I didnt make it clear, I have never hinted at wanting a threesome, ever. I am as monogamous as they come.
Again, thank you 🙂