Title explains it but to give more context,
My current situation is I have no trouble doing little chit chats with strangers that I know im never going to see again, like customer at my job or random people on the bus i’d have no issue with small talk.
But when it comes to people that i’d actually care what they think, I crumble.
I feel as if i focus to much on my words and I stumble over them and start mumbling, including lots of filler words, and speak too fast.
I also focus too much on my body language, always. I’m always conscious of how I look in public or around people and am constantly trying to look ‘normal’ not to sound all pathetic about it but I am certainly not the most attractive human being to ever roam the planet so I feel like looking as normal as possible is important.
My biggest problem is very easily shutting myself out of a conversation. Say I arrive get to work and my coworkers are having a conversation, whether it’s about something I know a lot about or not, i’ll have a hard time injecting myself into the conversation without interrupting someone or disturbing the peace in the conversation itself and making myself look weird .
I have this presumption that I know is stupid but its that nobody really cares about what I have to say and that most people will just react politely until I stop speaking whenever I want to say something, so I never do. I definitely come off as cold and dark in-person but I don’t want to and inside i’m really just a normal person
I’m aware that exposure therapy is a good way to counteract these issues, but I feel like i’ve been at it for a while with little progress. Are there any outline-able steps that you guys suggest taking to actually build up some confidence in public. Plus any tips with not focusing on body language as much, and also how to work myself into conversations, without seeming annoying or like I’m interrupting, thanks.