Throwaway cause,,, duh.
To keep a long story short I(22m) and my wife(21f) have already been married for about a year and we want to do a vow renewal every year. Now the only issue is my wife doesn't want my mother to be there to the point of saying "I will have armed guards escort her out if she does not apologize". Now you may be wondering why she said apologize. Back when I was young I was raised with some very unhealthy habits like eating fast food consistently and lack of exercise. This all changed when my dad had a stroke at 43 which made my family very quickly adopt a fitness oriented lifestyle. At the time I was not interested at all and was decently overweight. My parents would try and incentivize me to lose weight with things like extra video game time, etc. I have a twin brother who was more athletic than me at the time and he was praised for his athletic ability while I was praised for my intelligence. The issue is due to all of that and my weight I developed and eating disorder which I have since recovered from. Now my dad has always said he felt bad about feeding me all that junk when I was young but my mother has never directly apologized but she has always encouraged and supported me throughout my life and I have forgiven both of them for that. Now, my wife on the other hand thinks that was child abuse. I do want my mother to come to our vow renewal but I don't think she owes me an apology. What do I do?
Edit : A reason behind my wife's behavior is that she has PTSD from child abuse and from sexual abuse(not by a family member). Not excusing her actions but this is the most likely reason I can find for her stance on it.
Edit 2: This is literally the only point of contention in our relationship. Every thing else is perfect and we have boundaries for each other but this is the only one she has ever had a real issue with.