I have not engaged in the swinging lifestyle but I am married to someone who did and know people who did with him. It seems that the lifestyle left a lot of carnage in all their lives. One woman in particular, when things were going sideways with her husband/swing partner, would latch onto another “playmate” and marry or move in with them and continue participating in the lifestyle until the pattern repeated itself several times. The husbands and partners left in her wake experienced verbal, emotional, physical and financial abuse.
It seems that this lifestyle requires a lot of emotional maturity, trust and self respect which can be difficult at times in the best of relationships. I don’t buy that the majority of swingers have this kind of maturity or level of relationship.
I have no desire to swing and I have explored that within myself. I’ve wondered if I am prudish, insecure, untrusting, not emotionally mature, etc. I’ve questioned if it’s because I’ve experienced SA in my life. In conclusion I’ve accepted that I am simply monogamous and some people are not. With that being said though, I think that a lot of people in the lifestyle are searching to fill some emptiness within themselves or, perhaps, avoiding the hard work that a committed, monogamous relationship requires along with the pain that comes if it doesn’t work. This is my objective and, I hope, my mature view of swinging. Not gonna lie though, my less mature side says, “eww, gross.”