(35f) married for 9 years in November. I Rarely want to have sex unless I’ve had a few drinks. I know a lot of my issues deal with shame from my mother. An example is her finding a mini vibrator in my dresser when I was 16 and raising hell and humiliating me in-front of the whole family. Other instances include her calling me a whore after convincing me I can trust her to talk about my curiosities plus a lot more. You’d think by now I’d be able to get her out of my head. I’m grown with two daughters. I never want them to feel what I feel. I’ve never gone to therapy for this.
Sex whenever my husband can get my out of my head is enjoyable. The problem is I have to fight so hard with thoughts of “I don’t want to this” or “this feels wrong” “I don’t feel pretty”. What do you guys think any tips?