My husband (38m) and I (38f) have been married for 11 years. We share a 10 year old and I have a 16 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Whrn we first got married I knew he liked to drink. He would have a 24oz of beer daily after work. I never had a problem with it, in fact I developed a liking for an evening cocktail myself. Fast forward to right before my son was born, I found out that my husband had a drug problem. His addiction destroyed me and our family for years. The kids were younger at the time and they had no idea what was going on but without a doubt they could feel the energy in the house. I knew things needed to stop before they became affected first hand. I told him if he didn't get himself help then I was leaving. Idk if he was just ready to make the change at the time or he was just afraid of losing us that he agreed. That was back in 2020 and he has been clean since. I am so proud of him for that. Although, those days are behind us some of those old feelings are coming back. Over the last 2 years his drinking has escalated. Ive seen him kill a 12 pack plus a few nips by himself although that is usually a Saturday or Sunday thing. On a regular basis he is drinking at least 2 beers and 2-3 shots a evening. I know because he's dinking everyday he has a problem although I understand the amount perhaps, isn't as much as a lot of alcoholics (I don't think). His behavior has been changing as well. He has become kinda mean sometimes and gets agitated more easily. He has never been violent with me or the children but I do understand that things can continue to escalate to tha, although, I don't believe they will. He gets mad whenever I bring it up just like he would do with the drugs. He tells me "he knows what he needs to do" but he can't fix himself to actually say "stop drinking". He told me that if I can believe in him then I should just leave. Am I over reacting to his drinking or is he just no longer afraid of losing us? Is this him choosing the drinking of us? Do I given him more time or do I give him my bottom line?
I also want to add… Tensions have been high for the last 2 days bc apparently Im annoying when I keep bringing it up. I decided 2 weeks ago I was gonna stop drinking. I cant detail his drinking without acknowledging that I also needed to make some changes. I stopped my evening margarita I was enjoying a few nights a week bc I figured I don't want enable him and couldn't expect for him to make a change if I couldn't or wasn't willing to. I understand it's harder for him. Idk if I need to have more patience or have I had too much?